Our Downfall

by Brittney Follett   Jan 6, 2009


Sweet serenity caressed by rays of sunshine.
A soul suffocating inside being consumed by fear.
Guilt towards the pure innocence that has been corrupted.
Fantasy has become reality and the time is here.

Eons of pain and affliction brought to focus on a desolate night.
Wonderful freedom taunts from behind a tinted window.
Blinded by fear, too scared to see the love that is there.
A desperate decision made by one who is afraid to know.

Once bathed in innocence now consumed by confliction.
Before there was an open door now stands a wall.
Tear streaked pillows bear witness of a broken heart.
Oh how Love has destroyed the greatest of us all.

Copyright by Brittney Follett

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    An absoluetly flawless piece. You portrayed such emotions that made the reader feel what you were feeling. This piece is very heartfelt and the word you used set the scene perfectly. The wording you wrote was very deep and meaningful, and this was a heartbreaking but wonderful write to read. 5/5 from me, a masterpiece.....Take care, keep writing, always and forever...

  • 8 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Well, I really don't have much to say for this one. I don't really have any suggestions for you to improve.. I thought this piece was flawless and the word choice chosen fit the emotions and feelings you portrayed perfectly. What a great piece youve written here although with sad emotions. I loved the last line how you said love has destroyed us all, the word choice was superb, destroyed caught my eye.. although I felt as though maybe demolished would be more effective here. You did a wonderful job though, I'm literally speechless, your word choice is simple yet brings across the sadness that you were trying to inject into this piece.

    You did a wonderful job.
    5/5.

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