Comments : Deaths Anomaly

  • 8 years ago

    by JXD

    That was slightly scary how gross some lines were oO...It was freaking amazing!
    Really dark but I had to keep on reading 5/5
    I thought the rhyming was brill considering youv'e used un-typical words!

  • 8 years ago

    by David Dork

    Amazingly grusomely brilliant XD
    It was perfectly written to be honest I couldnt see any flaws and if anyone does moan about something then their just being gits, coz I mean your like one of the best poets on here (would you mind helping me some time???)
    So yea it was dark to the core 5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by The Queen

    Im speechless..The person above me was right it was flawlessly written. I especially liked how you ended it. It could be interpreted in so many ways. A very realistic description of how life is..Life is about pain, tears, hatred and so much more...You have my vote here..Good luck..

  • 8 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    "My scream a melodious tone"
    ^^ i think you are missing a word here!! or just put a : after scream ! It will help the flow : )

    I think your vocabulary is AMAZING in this poem i mean talk about advanced english! I liked having to think a little while reading your poem it was refreshing that there was more to your poem than what was on the page. also, your title fit the poem perfectly good choice!
    5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by Mister 47

    Dark poems are usaly the most expressive and the most charged with emotions . you need to really relate to the event so you can understand the pain when those tears are shown .

    and you pinned it very good way . you have a way with words , your structure was perfect and the rhyming flawless.

    great work

  • 8 years ago

    by heartbrokengrl

    Wow this poem is amazing!!!! I could feel the emotion it was incredible, never have i read a poem and felt that way. WOW

    5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by Hollywood

    This was very good!
    I liked all of this it was very good imagry
    the words flowed so well together and it was so flawless!

  • 8 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This is an amazing delivery on a very dark theme. flawless flow within a perfect rhyme scheme

    5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • 8 years ago

    by El

    Niice!
    kinda gross thou lol
    Amazing rhymes and the flow was fantastic!
    A incredibly written poem!
    =)

  • 8 years ago

    by aDORKable x3

    Whoa... deeeeep stuff. It was morbid, visual and I liked it very much
    It was full of imagery and... wow just wow.
    No wonder it's 5/5 =)
    5/5 from me for sure.

    Ciaoxx

  • 8 years ago

    by Stumbling Shaman

    Maybe I'm tired, maybe my thoughts don't run as deep as they used to.... I can see the headline- "Depressed Cyborg Watches Scary Movie, Hijacks Karaoke Night" Whether I'm right or wrong, I'll give it 5/5 I'm not even close, am I?

  • 8 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Flesh endures relentless fire
    Metal courses through bone
    Impaled with hells cruel fury,
    My scream a melodious tone"

    This is an extremely entrancing opening, your flow is flawless here, and I love how you say that your scream is a melodious tone, great job!

    "Poisoned wounds seep crimson
    These eyes weep broken tears,
    Darkness molests fragile skin
    Whilst chained to morbid fears"

    Excellent descriptions, very vivid and alive, one of the best dark poems I've ever read.

    "Torn up arteries infuse the heart
    Bone shards deface the floor,
    Mauled skin becoming rancid
    Beauty desolated forever more"

    Very in-deepth images here, you certainly have the reader grasping each and every line.

    "Unremitting tales of horror
    Gouge at the wretched soul,
    Revolting scenes of carnage
    Putrefy that once whole"

    Great wording, you certainly have a way with words, this is so unique and captivating, honestly.

    "Pain provides this harmony
    Cries will produce the song,
    A melody formed by hatred
    A tune for life now gone"

    Good ending, my favorite part. This was truly an amazing dark poem and I know I really enjoyed it. 5/5 from me, take care!

  • 8 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "Flesh endures relentless fire
    Metal courses through bone
    Impaled with hells cruel fury,
    My scream a melodious tone"

    ^^I adore this opening stanza, I find it to be filled with depth and emotion and the imagery portrayed creates such vivid pictures in my mind.

    "Poisoned wounds seep crimson
    These eyes weep broken tears,
    Darkness molests fragile skin
    Whilst chained to morbid fears"

    Again I love the imagery you portray, it's almost like I can -see- everything that you're describing.

    "Torn up arteries infuse the heart
    Bone shards deface the floor,
    Mauled skin becoming rancid
    Beauty desolated forever more"

    I found the flow on the last line to be slightly of, maybe desolate instead of desolated.

    "Unremitting tales of horror
    Gouge at the wretched soul,
    Revolting scenes of carnage
    Putrefy that once whole

    Pain provides this harmony
    Cries will produce the song,
    A melody formed by hatred
    A tune for life now gone"

    ^^Favourite stanzas of the poem, I find these verses to hold as much power as the rest of the piece put together, and I adore the closing lines, I find them to be hard hitting and powerful, certainly something that will stay with me for a while.

    Barring the part I mentioned, I found the flow to be flawless throughout and as previously stated the imagery you describe is beautifully done.

    I enjoyed this.

  • 8 years ago

    by Knee

    I really loved this poem..seemed even darker than the other poems here.
    I must say your wording was amazing..you seem to have a great dictionary of dark expressions, lol.
    I think this is the first poem I read for you..which really gave me a great impression about your poems.

    Torn up arteries infuse the heart
    Bone shards deface the floor,
    Mauled skin becoming rancid
    Beauty desolated forever more

    Wow that was very dark..I loved the second line a lot, loved everything in this stanza.

    Pain provides this harmony
    Cries will produce the song,
    A melody formed by hatred
    A tune for life now gone

    "Cries will produce the song", gotta say that was new..this stanza was an amazing ending one..you ended the poem amazingly.
    your rhyme was good, I think your wording made it sound very creative actually.

    Thank you for bringing me such amazing inspiration :]
    Write on

  • 8 years ago

    by Krista

    "Impaled with hells fury"
    ^^Should be "Hell's" since hell is possesive of fury.
    No other things I noticed. Loved the rhyme scheme and word choice. Made an image for me in my head. I loved the title. Very well written.
    5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by cantchangeme

    Beautifully dark poem
    Every line made me want to read on
    Loved the last stanza

    "Pain provides this harmony
    Cries will produce the song,
    A melody formed by hatred
    A tune for life now gone"

    That was amazingly well written
    "A tune for life now gone"
    Great way to end a great poem

    5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by Marcus blake

    My favorite part was "Poisoned wounds seep crimson" wow it expected when someone of your talent is writing amazing as always glad to see this latest poem. 5/5

    p.s you should join my club barly anyone on it so please join please!!!! lol :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Wishmaster

    I like this. No wonder this got nominated!

    5/5
    the Raven

  • 8 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    Hm. I read this a few times, and I absolutely love it. I honestly cannot say much about it, other than your word choices are fabulous, as is the flow and rhymes. A few favourite lines of mine are..

    "Impaled with hell's cruel fury,
    My scream a melodious tone"

    = Ah, so beautiful. I especially likes this because of the last line - just.. wow.

    "Poisoned wounds seep crimson
    These eyes weep broken tears,"

    = It's very dark, which I assume is what you were going for, so.. mission accomplished! :D

    "Torn up arteries infuse the heart
    Bone shards deface the floor,
    Mauled skin becoming rancid
    Beauty desolated forever more"

    = This entire stanza has me pretty much speechless. You definitely have a way with words - absolutely gorgeous.

    [I'm sorry I didn't have much to say, but nothing needs editing or changing. Even your lines are even! Haha. Great job. :)]

    ``Briana

  • 8 years ago

    by Not Enough

    Wow... amazing! I love it! It has so much emotion. Great vocab in this poem. It has a good flow, but not great. (no offense.) But other than that there's no down-side. It is a very dark poem I noticed. Usually I don't like poems like these, but this one is excellent. One of the best poems I've read 5/5

    Soda.