The Apology After The Fight

by Ashes of a Black Rose aka Night Child   Jan 23, 2009

My sincerest apologies to all those involved:
I thought it was healed until it evolved
To a war between sides that I tried to evade,
But passives are masochists so duly made
By the hands of my wounded that fell at the feet
Of the sadism statue I so wished to meet
Just to ask for forgiveness, like I'm asking you,
To pardon my soul for what I didn't do
To prevent all this madness and biased debate,
The prejudiced loathing, but I spoke too late.
My time has run out and I'm sorry to say
That I did nothing wrong except walk away
To avoid confrontation, misinterpretation,
I wanted no violence in this situation.
I did not prevail and Alas! I have learned,
It should've been me for twas I who had earned
The wounds of the punished, the blame rests with me,
I am the reason that this came to be.
It was my war to fight and I stopped not invasion,
My words far too tearful for angled persuasion.
My peace-preaching failed and good motives reached none,
But its clear there is nothing that I could've done
To prevent all the chaos, the violence and shame,
And its still a question if I am to blame
For the things that went down, I detest this new sight,
For if you recall, I protested the fight.
This anger's suppression, this postponed aggression,
Let loose a new fury when I cured his repression.
I wanted a friendship, not even that much,
I wanted civility, but I've got a hunch
That there's more to the story than what people know,
Like how much he loathes me which just goes to show
That I'm in way too deep and the words that I said,
Though purist in motive, did not reach their heads
And try as I might to convince him I tried
To stop them from judging and prevent the fight
I fail once again to explain loud and clear
That violence is not what I intended here.
I sat there and took it while he left me to sigh
And I'm sorry that others came 'cross the line
But the problem is mine so why cant you see
That if someone's to get hurt, it has to be me.
I am to blame, it is mine, I admit!
I will not back down and I'll take every hit
That you throw me until you are finally through
And satisfied that I have fallen to you,
At the throne of a sadist, so blind to the facts,
Who doesn't think clearly and just simply acts
On the whim and the anger, so tell me, I pray!
Why is the one preaching peace who you blame?


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