I hate you with a passion because of what you did to me,
Every time you see me, I won't notice you,
Because I'll be walking forward with my head held high,
not looking back,
You, on the other hand, are only standing still,
going nowhere, neither forward, nor backward,
But just watching as the world goes by
I like this poem a lot. It is great that you are venting your feelings and they are put into perspective very well. In your second line you have repetition of 'you see me' I am not sure if it is meant to be like that or is it simply an error?
But otherwise you have written your emotions very well and this is a great and easy poem to read and relate to.
Good job! = ]
I like this alot . It's very powerful , props to you for this one . I would pay attention to your punctuation though , because it really helps the reader better interperet your poem . Use semi-colons (;) to your advantage, and if you don't know how properly , look it up . This is fantastic though .. It really is . I think maybe you just write better free verse poems .