Aww Krista.. this is reallly sad. You showed a lot of emotions and feelings you have been wanting to get out. I could tell this was a personal poem and I know what you wrote it about.. and I know your situation.. you are very strong though if you look at it, even though she brings you down youre a very strong girl to bare the pain and what she puts you through. Nobody deserves to be put through something like you have, and you dont either. I hope things get better with time, and before long youll be living elsewhere and wont have to deal with her constant put downs and such.. hang in there. I know its not easy.. and I'm sorry that you have to go through this.

A well penned piece..

5/5.

First of all.. I don't think I've ever commented any of your poetry, and I'm pretty honest, but I try not to be mean. So don't get mad at me, okay? XD

Anywaysss..

I guess what I meant when I said "I'm sorry",
I'm just coming up an excuse for my existance.
-- I really don't get this.. I mean I guess I do, but you worded it kind of weird.. I feel that after "I'm sorry" there should be a was.. It's like you're leading up to saying why you said that.. then you just stop, but you did kind of explain it.. just not in the way I expected you to. Okay.. I'm probably not making very much sense.. sorry. ><

I'm just coming up an excuse for my existance.
-- There should be a "with" after "coming". :]

I'm miserable, but I'll continue to smile.
-- I liked this line, because I can relate to it.. Whenever I feel horrible.. I always try to smile.. unless I'm alone, because I don't really want anyone asking me what's wrong. I hate that.

whispering that tomorrow might shine brighter.
-- Loooved this line. I think it's the best so far. I liked how you wrote it that way instead of just saying that you hope tomarrow might be better.

No wonder I let you beat me down senseless,
-- This line really got to me.. because.. I let people put me down and stuff. I kind of agree with them.. so I don't really defend myself. It's really not a good way to be.. :\

I just need to stand up for myself.
-- Great ending! Yes, you should stand up for yourself. :]

I thought it was a good poem. Stay strong, okay?

Keep writing!
Cayce

This is the power of poetry at its finest and the last line fit so well
"I just need to stand up for myself. "

very sublime

Ok i really like this poem. but i think your diction could of been better. the flow is a little off, but the reader can still feel the sadness and pain on this poem. the first sentence seems unfinished. maybe you forgot what you were thinking. always pay close attention to those type of problems helps the poems be more clear to the reader and better to understand. always organize your thoughts before writing. or write and then go back to it and read it to your self. any way other than that keep strong and keep writing i think with time and work you can because a wonderful writer.
Ada

The first line has a comma at the end if anyone noticed. It's a slight pause, leading into the next line.

It's well written, but I have a few things to say about this.

To me, your first stanza sounded very immature and childish -- and it was strange, because you were speaking precisely about not being that. This is why writers, poets especially, must pay special attention to wording. Words such as just, excuse, guess, stuck, well, they're the kind of words a kid would use when writing. I understand that you're only speaking humbly and frankly, but it doesn't seem that way. There are readers who will choose sympathy over critism, but I honestly think it will sound and look better if you replaced some of the words. [Stuck] for example, can be replaced by something as simple as [trapped]. This shows that you have a vocabulary range of an older-than-five-year-old.

There are good lines in this poem, it was just the first stanza I had a problem with. My fav lines:
"my life just as messed up as a broken story."
"I'll continue to smile"
"whispering that tomorrow might shine brighter."

To me, the single-lined ending was weak, but if you feel that it's right, please don't change it. Things like that isn't for the reader to decide.

I feel like this poem has more than one scenario behind it. It's not constant and it's not metaphorical enough to carry more than one meaning, whether that's a controlling relationship with a partner or parent.
I don't feel like it's been phrased in a way that surprises me or makes me want to come back for more. It's a pretty typical teenage angst poem, in all honesty.
I don't want to be rude and I apologise if this comes across that way.
Sometimes poems can work by being simply described but this feels recycled and overthought, in my opinion at least.
You seem to have the inspiration, so keep at it.

L.

I guess what I meant when I said "I'm sorry",
I'm just coming up with an excuse for my existance.
Knowing it's not my fault that I'm stuck on Earth,
my life just as messed up as a broken story.
-I'm not sure that I understand the first line, but the rest is a good way to begin a poem, something open.

Your put downs and complaints need to end.
I'm miserable, but I'll continue to smile.
Rocking myself to sleep among relentless tears,
whispering that tomorrow might shine brighter.
-progressing, getting ot the point...good

Though I'm finished with my ranting and raving,
I finally realized my lack of self confidence.
No wonder I let you beat me down senseless,
my legs won't support my weakened body.
-now you're summing it up. with a "final kick", if you will

I just need to stand up for myself.
-now for the great ending, everybody needs to do this.

over all I liked how it had three parts, you moved through them very well with great flow.

Krista,

You are doing just that, although you may not realize that you are.
By writing your feelings down as sharing it with the world you are making a statement.
Once we find the courage to show ourselves and dare to share our sorrows and pains a door opens up. An aswer will come and also a way out of this. You are not broken and all that happens to you, happens for a reason. One day you will think back upon my words and realize I was right.
The people who cause you to feel this way are meant to be in your life. We grow from all experiences, dear girl. The hurt and the pain you are experiencing will enable you to break through certain barrieres and eventually make you realize you are a strong and beautiful human being. They will make you aware of all you are NOT and this will make you more aware of who you really are:)
Hang on in there, sweet thang. There is light at the end of the tunnel;)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

The graph of life goes with highs and lows.We all grow by the painful experiences of our life.Remember my dear everything happens for a reason.
The best part of your work shows you are positive.Be brave.God bless.