Defiance

by Italian Stallion   Jun 18, 2009


Defiance - the hunger of survival. Followed. Murdered.
The tidings of intelligent activity (derailed; recycled.)
Individual hunger lingers in the depths of the woods;
searching for shelter, hunting for food - voracious.

A community of hearts
...torn apart
......Persecuted
..........Faithful
.............Murdered.

The massacres evolve...with ravenous games,
while the chambers of hell extend regular flames.
Survival amongst death despite endless starvation,
they fight for their lives; God's faithful creation.

There's freedom sought with...

pride,
...courage,
......and hope

defining worlds humanity;

Adversary: artificial pursuit arranged, scouted then degaged,
the Einsatzgruppen hunted, laughing at the pleasure they gained.
Slaughtering house - chambered then gassed or lined and executed,
an distinguished existence now altered: described as "The Holocaust."

© Copyright 2009 By: Italian Stallion

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  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Defiance - the hunger of survival."

    I really like how you defined your title, this was a strong opening line, very well worded.

    Right away when I first looked at this piece, I could tell it was going to be different in a good way, I love the structure, it strengthens this piece.

    "Followed. Murdered.
    The tidings of intelligent activity (derailed; recycled.)
    Individual hunger lingers in the depths of the woods;
    searching for shelter, hunting for food - voracious."

    Wow, I have never read a poem like this before. Your wording blows me away and is so descriptive. Such a vivid scene you have created in front of my eyes, and your vocabulary is deep and intense, truly explained all that's going on.

    "A community of hearts
    ...torn apart
    ......Persecuted
    ..........Faithful
    .............Murdered."

    I liked what you did here with the periods, this was very unique and had a nice touch. This was well-written too, what powerful words.

    "The massacres evolve...with ravenous games,
    while the chambers of hell extend regular flames.
    Survival amongst death despite endless starvation,
    they fight for their lives; God's faithful creation."

    Your words speak such a horrible truth, you expressed the terror and evil well, and how the people are striving to live, though its harder than ever. Wonderful job so far.

    "There's freedom sought with...

    pride,
    ...courage,
    ......and hope

    defining worlds humanity;"

    I like the originality portrayed here, excellent job so far. So much meaning is held in your words in every line.

    "Adversary: artificial pursuit arranged, scouted then degaged,
    the Einsatzgruppen hunted, laughing at the pleasure they gained.
    Slaughtering house - chambered then gassed or lined and executed,
    an distinguished existence now altered: described as "The Holocaust."

    Wow, you have described so much hate and the whole horror and sickness of the Holocaust. To think that these evil people killed for the pleasure just sends a sickening want for revenge in your heart. Well-written, you have summed up all the terror in your own words and managed to blew me away.

    5/5 from me, a brilliant and powerful write.

    ~MaryAnne

    For sure going on my favorites.

  • 9 years ago

    by Zeus

    A very well spoken truth about the Holocaust and the evil nature of man.

    "The massacres evolve...with ravenous games,
    while the chambers of hell extend regular flames."

    I learned in a class about the Holocaust that there are five stages in the scale of prejudice: Antilocution, Avoidance, Discrimination, Physical Harm, and Extermination. The hatred evolves to more severe crimes of humanity.

    I also liked the line:

    "a distinguished existence now altered"

    The hatred of one man fueled the inhumane aspects of a nation aimed to relinquish another.

    I often imagine if Hitler had used his oratory skills for a good purpose, he might've changed the world in a positive way.

    It shows that man can be defiant to himself/ herself.

    5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    This poem was absolutely amazingly written -one of which I can only truly praise. You really summed up the Holocaust in your words; not only what it was but also the emotion was there as well. The only thing that I saw a change that needed to be made was 'defining worlds humanity;' - I think an apostrophe is needed in worlds. Other than that very well done, an impressive write. A huge topic, and I loved the way you executed your thoughts and ideas into a poem.

    Brilliant :]
    5/5.

  • 9 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    Hi! Joe,
    You chose a very difficult and controversial topic with Defiance. What with the doubters and unbelievers out there.
    I think this poem is probably the best of yours I have read to date. It is concise, filled with feeling, graphic and gets the message across.
    In my life time I have had the privlege of having an Uncle who was in Belsen who had lost all his family in the Polish Concentration camps, his parent, brothers, sisters and many other relations not to mention friends. He became a Rabbi and he was a man that everybody loved as he made time for all not only those of his own religion. He is still my hero, he got on with his life and gave thanks that he was still alive and lived his life as he said to me one day, 'for his family and friends who had died in the camps'. Man's inhumanity, especially caused by those who were members of the Germans Einsatzgruppen guards and workers never ceases to make me sick in the stomach with remorse. The Germans of the camps must be rotting in hell now as to turn people against their own the way they did with the Einsatzgruppen must be one of the most deadliest of sins.
    Sorry I digress a Great Poem though it is sad that we can write about such. Yet important that we remember the holocaust and pray that we never permit it to happen again. 5/5
    Unfortunately man is as unpredictable as the life we have and since those harrowing years he has seen fit to attempt to cleanse other people several times, Europe and Africa are examples. Ray S

  • 9 years ago

    by mnemosyne

    Woweeeee! Joe, this piece is amazing. (: The entire poem kept me engaged, and tense. You did a great job of choosing your words: each one certainly did it's job, and held power.

    "Defiance - the hunger of survival."
    ^Thought this was a fabulous opening to the work, as it's a straight jab to the face, haha. Couldn't have set the tone better, really tugs the reader in.

    "Individual hunger lingers in the depths of the woods;
    searching for shelter, hunting for food - voracious."
    ^Loved this bit! You created such a vivid scene, and portrayed the avid and desperate hunger of these people well. I also like that you didn't detail the 'food,' leaving it open to mean literal and spiritual provision.

    "......Persecuted
    ..........Faithful
    .............Murdered."
    ^I really liked your use of 'faithful' here, because I was expecting to see 'followed' as used in the previous stanza. A good shock, adding a new thought.

    The rest of this just continues to be amazing, heh. Your vocabulary, the ebb and flow, the meaning behind it all: seriously well written! This deserves to be nominated. (: