Midnight Wonder

by Obscura   Sep 3, 2009


The moon nestles amidst the clouds
its shape grown full and its light shinning down.
As I lay in bed with memories of the past
the friends I've lost the mistakes I've made
all losing focus in a darkened haze.
All my thoughts I collect and ponder
losing myself in a midnight wonder.
I write to try and capture a talent I feel I have lost,
I don't know what the price is,
but I fear I cannot match the cost.
As I see the moon shinning my words on the floor
this writer this poet's hand will lay silent once more.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by mandy

    The first line was a great opener.

    I like the idea of how you're writting about you're not being able to write. Oh, the irony.

    The ending was very smoothe, and left me satisfied; it was worth the read.

    Beautiful write, 5/5.

    mandy

  • 14 years ago

    by Of Sweet Insanity

    Wow, this is neat!
    I can totally relate...........
    This piece makes me really thoughtful.

    I enjoyed it all. I don't have any suggestions :P Great job.

  • 14 years ago

    by Em

    Such a sweet yet touching story about a 'talent lost' obviously I know you're talking about writers block and it's never easy. I love how you explain some of your heartachs and tell us that you want to write about these in your 'midnight wonder' but you just can't because your minds sort of frozen. Wonderfully written with alot of emotion, good job. 5/5, Em

  • 14 years ago

    by Love Panda

    Freakin awsome honey.
    i love your work and i hope you know it.

    you have such a perfect way of expressing yourself. i dont think you could have done this poem better, its really good. i loved reading the words you used, they match the structure of the poem excellently.

    good job.

    ibe
    x

  • 14 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Assuming you are the persona/narrator, you definitely haven't lost your talent for writing.

    "The moon nestles amidst the clouds
    its shape grown full and its light shinning down."

    ^^ I like the word 'nestles' here. It gives off the impression that the moon is safe and secluded, comforted with the clouds and fitting in nicely; the exact way it should be.

    "All my thoughts I collect and ponder
    losing myself in a midnight wonder."

    ^^ This is really sweet. There's nothing amazing about it, but it's a simple little sentence that is beautiful to the ears.

    "I write to try and capture a talent I feel I have lost,
    I don't know what the price is,
    but I fear I cannot match the cost."

    ^^ This emphasises just how dear this talent is to the persona - as they fear they won't be able to capture what was once theirs, not knowing what the outcome of this will be. I can relate to this. Sometimes when I go through a "dry spell" in writing, I fear I won't be able to capture what I had and I worry where this will leave me.

    A wonderful piece, nicely done.

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