This was very beautiful, breathtaking. I loved how you took pieces from wedding vows as well as other things like emails and edited some of them to make them your own then sculpted this beautiful poem from those. Brilliant, really loved the ending too... its always interesting and even more romantic to insert a line from another language. Awesome job .
Sometimes too much love in a poem get's on my nuts... Also men write the poems for the women not the other way round. If he reads it, goodbye manhood. Next thing you know you'll ask him to wax his chest. Jesus he was probs having a wank while you thought this little poem up.
This poem is very touching. It pours out words of love. I enjoy each stanza expect the last. I think the english and the french didn't blends well. I think you could restructure the words without changing the meaning.
"Our forever garden, a place where
we will dwell for infinity, fulfilling these vows.
Savoring the sweet fragrance of roses,
listening to love songs sung by the wind,
bathing in cool cleansing waters,
nurturing the love that grows,
keeping the magic alive in A jamais notre jardin.
Je t'aime mon cheri".
I think it could sound better if you use keeping the magic alive in Notre gardin eternelle. ( just a suggestion) overall i enjoy my read, 5/5, kel.
A very beautiful, romantic poem you've penned here, Sylvia. It takes me away to a day long ago when I and someone special in my life enjoyed each other's company in such a beautiful garden (at Epcot Center in Florida). Magnificent!