Well there is a poet in everyone. Some can just convey the message and feeling a little better than others. I found this poem quite unique and thought you done a good job. I will say "good" because I think you have the ability to make it so much more. We already have a Kipling, so just be you and do it to the best of your ability. I, too look back on my older poems and think yuck, but I refuse to take them down because they are a learning process from where I started to this time in my life. I believe yours will be the same and we can think we have a great poem but to look back on it and be able to see the faults and what we could have, should have dones is only a tell tale sign of the artists we have become in our journey to write poetry. Wonderful Job and I look forward to reading more of your work.