Finding Winter Now

by abracadabra   Oct 28, 2010

To eat the first mango of Spring,
we walked to the park,
escorted by excited blossoms at our feet
and quivering blue weather ahead.

There, sitting on the daisy-speckled grass,
surrounded by trees crowned with misty green
and my teeth sunk in mango,
you discovered a white hair on my head.

On my head,
it had been
stripped, starved, it had
curled into
itself, hideous,
lonely and strange
and new.

At length, the wind carried it away
to a day stretching longer and brighter
than the last,
for now.

I looked to the deepening folds
of your smile. I looked to your eyes
through the distant years, fading slowly
with my reflection.

I looked down to the lines
gathering on your hand
resting on my hand.

Spring burst itself around me, then,
warm and tremulous
and ancient.


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Cam M

    Thoughtful words, my friend.

    It's good to see you penning again.

    You see, love and deep friendship can bring forth such wonders... :)

  • 7 years ago

    by silvershoes

    The youngness of Spring making you feel old? Making you wonder if the one you're with is the one you'll be with for the rest of your life? Feel like you're running out of time?

    Well, this poem gave me so many impressions, it was a bit hard to handle. Excellent writing, really. No clue why you're being down-voted when this is quite obviously a better poem on PnQ.

    C'est la vie. Keep it up, chica.

  • 7 years ago

    by Nicko

    Did you change the title? No never mind.

    Spring has always always been my favourite season. It signifies NEW, new life, when nature is at its most glorious, full of promise, it rejuvenates, reinvigorates

    You seem to have captured all of that and more, for with spring we have always looked to capture love and the promise of...

    Yet at the same time you have instilled an amount of reality with your "white hair" something that is inevitable yet not to be dwelled on just yet, that is for another day "for now"

    Your last stanza finishes perfectly; you seem to have gathered all around you, content with the is good

  • 7 years ago

    by sibyllene

    I nominated this poem for the contest, but I didn't yet know how to comment on it. I still don't, really. It's hard to smack words onto something you love, and I happen to love every little thing you write. The last three stanzas are pure wonder. You have that moment, the mango. You have the taste of the fruit, the juice from the corners of your mouth, you have the vision of the trees, the feel of the wind, and in that moment you're taken OUT of time. You see this season returning year after year, cycling through, as the wrinkles around your eyes grow deeper and there you are, still, looking at each other and smiling. That moment is Spring.

  • 7 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I really loved the awesome imagery throughout the entire poem, it felt as though I was living within the season with the writer, each description gave more life to the poem. 'daisy-speckled grass' was rather clever,

    The white hair on your head, I guess I didn't quite pick up on that - if you meant for it to be literal or figurative but I didn't pick up on the metaphor? I suppose if I thought about it longer I could figure it out, but it definitely made me think, because it has such a mysterious significance that isn't said flat out. Perhaps its how the writer was feeling or feels in Spring? I like the unknown of this stanza and how it's open for any interpretation.

    I liked the usage of 'At length,' you never really hear that in poetry, It may have been my first time hearing it in a poem but I liked it, it was something different, and a very nice transition into the rest of the poem. You did a great job in this stanza describing how the days get longer at the end of Spring, into the start of summer.

    Loved the ending, truly brilliant :)