Comments : Heart beats on

  • 6 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Somehow you have managed to weave nature, darkness, sadness, life, love, all genre's into this enticing poem. Makes the reader wonder how it would truly feel to have this actually happen. Well done as usual.

  • 6 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    So sorry I haven't read from you lately, I greatly appreciate your kind and generous comment on my latest piece, and also for the nomination. Great to hear from you and a pleasure to read your piece, here are my thoughts:

    "Mountains rose high in a sky turning
    purple with splashes of lilac and gold
    creating a back drop for the emerald
    arms of the welcoming forest trees."

    very influential flow, I felt like nothing was overdone, words were simple yet conveyed a strong atmosphere of energy. Loved the thought of a sky having splashes of lilac and gold, never been described like that before, makes the ending more rich in my mind.

    "A rising moon spread a satiny carpet
    of silver across a dark silent lake .
    An owl sounded eerily in the evening breeze
    accompanied by a loon calling sadly."

    I loved the depth you write in four lines, handing out a haunted feeling of loneliness and solitude. I could see the images of the first two lines so strongly in my eyes, like a grand waltz of some sort.

    "Rustling of leaves caused reason for
    caution and yet I walked fearless upon
    a path leading to my hearts desire.
    Love guided me through the unseen."

    This led my heart to jump, for a good reason. At first, I assumed you would just describe again the eeriness of the wind rustling through leaves, but here you finalize your passion on this journey. The last line is perfect, powerful and a lot to leave the reader with.

    "In the clearing a cabin of logs loomed
    ahead, smoke billowing from the chimney
    lights dimmed romantically, the fragrance
    of fresh chopped wood filled my senses."

    Wonderful form, your words just weave together so profoundly, I liked how you mentioned romantic light & fragrance near the cabin, because usually the woodsy scent isn't what you call fragrant- but you gave new meaning.

    "Heart pounding I approached the door,
    hand shaking I hesitated for just a
    moment .Knocking was greeted with a
    smile and open arms. wrapping me in a
    warm embrace."

    This creates for me a sentimental feeling of a love you have finally recaptured, I admire how you turned this from a darker piece trudging through the night to a home-lit cabin where she waits again.

    "Death took her long ago, yet her spirit
    waits for me each anniversary day. I meet her
    in our special place where love lives on
    even death is unable to stop our forever"

    Striking last words, like a testimony that just doesn't leave the reader when they go to another page.

    Well done, thank you greatly for the masterpiece, intertwined with many stunning aspects that truly and honestly leave me inside of myself, imagining moments like these, and what had happened earlier.

    God bless you and hope to read more of your work, been so long.

    ~MaryAnne

  • 6 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Oh my goodness...

    This is more than a poem, it is a whole story and I could see it all in front of me, especially the final part.

    Beautiful wording in this poem, I could feel your loving spirit in it.

    Heart pounding I approached the door,
    hand shaking I hesitated for just a
    moment .Knocking was greeted with a
    smile and open arms. wrapping me in a
    warm embrace.

    Death took her long ago, yet her spirit
    waits for me each anniversary day. I meet her
    in our special place where love lives on
    even death is unable to stop our forever

    ^^

    The contrats between these two stanzas will have people reading with their mouths ajar, I know I did, lol.

    A very well done from me hun!

    xox

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 6 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    A totally amazing write by you TJ :)) that just blew my away:]

    Love all the thoughts, feelings & imagery ... that just draws the reader in to this special place/poem/ love that you have shared! :)

    Excellent my friend!.. Very well done :D
    Lol, Olwin.

  • 6 years ago

    by Jad

    A very well done poem that I believe could really catch anyones eye as it does portray nature, dark, sadness and even love within your lines. The way you went through this poem as a story was clever and also the meaning behind the poem is incredible and you gave this poem a depth which I think some poets now a days can not get to. Anyway the poem was terrific and had my attention from the first stanza all the way to the second stanza. Great job and keep writing.

  • 6 years ago

    by Cindy

    TJ
    Beautiful piece. The imagery is wonderful and draws the reader into your words. Allowing them to invision everythng around them. Colors, smells, and sounds. So sad but filled with so much love, faith and hope.
    Excellent job!
    Love Cindy

  • 6 years ago

    by Blissful

    Very powerful TJ. I see you still have your poetic touch. :)

  • 6 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow... this poem is really amazing.. I felt like it was so happy in the beginning and wondered why you chose dark but then I understood in the last stanza. It's really sweet and romantic to remember a loved one this way. Well done

  • 6 years ago

    by Raquel

    This poem was awesome i almost cried!!!!!!!! write more so everyone can see ur talent:)

  • 6 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    Tj..I have found something very special in your poetry.
    >your style is not boring..lol

    I just low how everything flows so well together.

    I love the words you choose and CHOSe in this poem, the usage of them. the expressions you create and the images u draw..

    It;s just perfect.
    The very 1st stanza was REALLY catchy and then 3rd stanza was one of my favs..I loved the whole piece tho..to a certain extent that I read it another time, for the love of revealing more messages, out of this poem

    claps*
    5//5 I have to agree with what Sylvia..said..amazing mixture .

  • 6 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    A write that has a mix of emotions as well as
    situations with a moving end to remember..like watching a movie..beautifully penned!

  • Okay... I'm almost crying... Wow.. -=fans self=-
    That was very amazing and heartfelt. Definitely got a lot of emotion and took a lot of emotion from me..

    5/5

    -Heather

  • 5 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Fabulous piece. The word choice is stunning and it Is just so.wonderfully written. Your voice is clear and strong which makes this piece even better. I love this piece and think you have penned something amazing.