You have touched me to the cores ya Nor, because this poem speaks of what I and endless people perhaps have on their minds..
I love the Sir tone so damn much, as it just got to me that much when I read the stanzas after it, and how strong..the impact was.
I appreciate your note, for it made many things clearer..
your poems always shine with originality, of honesty, of new expressionss and some of the most effective stories.
I love the fact that all your poems have depth, as much as meaning. Nothing else matters in such a poem as much as in your previous ones, nothing else matters as nothing really seems off nor wrong, cause as a reader I have been taken away by the message, and sensitivity and transparency of your piece !
I was touched, and I had memories of childhood, of things I miss, I had thoughts of children in Palestine for a certain reasons..
thought provoking, a winner no bet, and the poem that i will nominate on tuesday no BET..
Not gonna take up your time with a lenghty comment just wanted to say I loved this piece you covered so many domains from being a child to growing older. I loved the imagery you used. Very simple but still so beautiful and interesting. I used up my last vote this week but I will be nominating this tomorrow. Keep writing dear. Wonderful work. -Nik
This is a remarkable -almost- a tale of two people who fell in love when they were younger that they may not be too proud of now. --The reminiscence of childhood, those short ghost stories and how we lived our life --- just the care free kids we are. ---
While reading this, I have such wonderful images in my mind. They immediately set me up for a wonderful ride and as I read the remainder of this piece, I reached the peak of cheerlessness, perhaps a tone of regret.
I love everything about it, its structure, its tone/voice, its rhythm, its theme of multiple facets and most of all the emotions behind this piece, it's overwhelming, accentuated by your clever vocabulary and creativity.
in miracles till illusion,
in love till rebellion
and in dreams
^ This would be my favorite lines, when we were kids; we used to do things in the extreme. I specially love the tone of this, as if you were on the top of your lungs.
As we sat
in our separate balconies
you, painting a sky without a sun
and me, a sun without light
^Very dramatic scene, this was. It can be interpreted as, you still love him, though it seems he already has forgotten about you. I think that is the best interpretation of that. Hmmm. Thinking about it.
Do you still go back to
these ancient houses?
walk among the ruins alone?
^followed by these? It's heartbreaking. You sounded as if you were a little mellow trying hard to conceal the tears but your words failed you. This is a hint, perhaps you are missing someone.
Or it could be interpreted in a totally different scenario. You were just taking a stroll down memory lane, not necessarily about childhood or about that kind of love I spoke of.
Overall, this is impressively touching, an enjoyable read, and a marvelous work1
This is one of very few touching poems I have read in quite some time. It grapples between childhood and the age of reason when we become different people and grow apart.
If I had to choose a favorite stanza it would be this one...
"Do you still go back to
these ancient houses?
walk among the ruins alone?
visit the old man's grave
and curse as you trip over
the uneven broken roads
you once knew so well?"
The last line in this stanza is especially intense, as it could be a metaphor for a few things in life. I keep coming back to read this poem and find it leaving me just as breathless with each read. Absolutely beautiful.
Wow... Nano this poem made me speechless! I love it.... every word! The title caught my eye and I was engaged from the start, you told a beautiful story! I loved when you explained childhood memories, there really is nothing better than childhood memories... they always make me smile... Just like your poem...
The second half felt like a second poem but I liked the contrast and comparison..
A beautiful story of young love, of first love. When we're younger, love seems to provoke such an innocent curiosity. And then life strikes down the fantasy as we get older. I really appreciate this piece, really took me back. Wonderfully penned, and much enjoyed.
7 years ago
I guess that is not much more to say than congradulations for the winnings, I will probably not going to be the most brilliant comment but at least you get the ideia, I think you deserved every winning and hope that one day I can write like you, I am too young and still have to much to learn, but it are poems like theese that keep me going on the search of perfection. Keep Going
I find myself connecting to this piece more now then I did those years ago. Innocence, childhood...love. Such a prominent atmosphere when you're young. It's incredible sometimes how we forsake things in the name of "adulthood."