So hypnotic, kept me reading on and on, didn't want it to stop. Two hearts treading the path of love with hurdles trying to hinder thier passionate love. Challenges turn out as discovery of thier union; whether it can be firm through the obstacles or surrender to be free of this fervent deep feeling. I related to this easily and i'm sure it is to all the readers. Written simply but awe-inpiring. Very good and more thoughts to your heart and mind. Take care ;-)
5 years ago
Wow! job well done. It reminds me of a line from one of my favorite movies: Ever After. Cinderella says "a fish may love a bird, but where would they live? " If only I could express myself as well as you.
You're much better at telling a story than I am. Again the rhythm makes this a little harder for me to follow, but that's personal preference, and it certainly does not take away from the concise imagery and atmosphere of the poem. The desire seems to leak through a layer of chaos, and that's not easy to portray.