Comments : Loosely strapped onto your fate...

  • 5 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    Relate, relate, relate to this! congrats on your win. ;)

  • 5 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    Choice of words is good..the flow complements it even further..5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Hallucinostic

    Nice, this is really nice. I like the whole composition, but what I like best is the title, its something that catches one's attention. Good job here.

  • 5 years ago

    by Sherry Lynn

    It seems my heart is
    loosely strapped onto your fate,
    as despite your ignorance,
    it still feels for you...

    ^^^^^^^^^^^

    I must say that this is my favorite part. Amazing how it is when we love someone who does not respond to our emotions we still tend to stay trapped and strapped to their fate.

    Waiting for them to reciprocate is a long, daunting, and painful wait; however, when they desire of our heart returns it is a beautiful thing that magically erases all the anger, hurt, and hate that we have used to build walls around our hearts.

    Great poem.

  • 5 years ago

    by BlueJay

    This piece is amazing, excellent job. This piece is fantastic.

  • 5 years ago

    by Mattias Ostling

    Amazing!
    I'm going to have to reiterate what Sherry Lynn said, I *loved* the final stanza. I can relate to this so much as well.
    Great choice of words and great stanza constructions.

    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I tried my best to collide with you,
    but your ignorance followed,
    it then cultivated
    moments of despair...

    ^OMG "I tried my best to collide with you", we always go through our life trying our best to feel a part of someone.

    A prolonged period later,
    your fruits of love culminated for me,
    you showered your love
    by connecting with me...

    ^The repition on me, kind of rocked the flow, but otherwise nicely done

    Your single attention
    acted as a magical wand,
    it brushed away the vindictiveness intact for you in me,
    it glued te pearls of our love in a moment...

    ^Typo, Te should be to, should it not
    Love the imagery and metaphors in this

    It seems my heart is
    loosely strapped onto your fate,
    as despite your ignorance,
    it still feels for you...

    ^Great ending girl, as always. What an amazing piece

    love
    Tara
    xxxx

  • 5 years ago

    by retha

    Ah! young love be so cruel and just. wonderfully painful and decadently filled with lust. I pray her heart to heal before another her love come steal. Bravo!

  • 5 years ago

    by KDE Joyce

    I believe this line

    it glued te pearls of our love in a moment...

    is supposed to say: it glued THE pearls

    I really enjoyed this piece, I felt this way about someone once. I always seemed to go out my way to bump into them, and they just didn't care.

  • 5 years ago

    by Giegielove Goddess Poet

    Great expression of words! Super like!

  • 5 years ago

    by Whatever works

    I have to say I am loving your word choice in this
    you put them together so well that it made the poem flow well...

    The rays of your life entered my soul,
    tearing away the gloominess I lived with,
    it etched back your memories
    I buried long time ago...

    It seems my heart is
    loosely strapped onto your fate,
    as despite your ignorance,
    it still feels for you..

    .. the ending is a ggreat ending for this poem, it put it all together, made it make sense.... its not a good feeling when you feel for someone who doesnt know. but this poem is expressive :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    The specifics of this poem make me believe it was inspired by true experirence, and it has a flawless free flow

  • 5 years ago

    by Ruby Red Memories

    You wrote this really well and I found the read to be quite enjoyable. I loved your choice of words and how you put the poem together.

    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by colin

    Beautiful poem i can relate to the poem i read it 3 times already & i suppose ill probably read it alot more times.a 5 Excellent

  • 5 years ago

    by Siham

    Woooooooow this is amazing, i want nothing but to read it hundred of times. the comments above show how this poem is fantastic
    excellent job 5/5

  • 4 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    A lovely love poem. ..i like how you created two different emotions. Its really a bad moment to find one in a feeling of remorse and sceptism after a tiny misunderstanding. It leaves ones in despair and wishing you where never together. Such are trying times when one shouldn't let emotions to take control of the affairs. It can result to bad judgements.

    With patience, perseverance and trust. One can go through it all and find a point where the puzzle will fall together. Then, the love and affection will start blooming like never before. Its just a phase that strengthens and taste the amount of love one feels for the other. It can be minor or major depending on how you go about it.

    Love is a mixture of happy and sad times, they complement each other, just as lovers. This is the reality of every relationship. And i believe everyone can find this relatable. Bon Travail! :) ..

  • 4 years ago

    by Khalid

    So beautiful imagery! I like dividing the poem regularly into four-line stanzas. This is really enticing. Brilliant as always.