I noticed you really like the word 'cathartic', you use it often or at least it feels like you have. Please forgive me if I'm wrong and you haven't used it once or twice before but it doesn't really matter anyway because I like it. In my opinion it's a harsh sounding word but you somehow mesh it amongst soft words and it takes away those harsh sounds.
I like 'strum my dreams', it's a relaxed line that really stood out to me. I think the entwining of music and dreams helped to set the atmosphere.
The topic of the poem was a sad one but I can't say I felt a lot of emotion. It's not a bad thing, perhaps you weren't trying to draw that from the reader or perhaps you were and it was drawn from many just not me. The wording was more evident of sadness than the tone itself if that makes sense to you? I'm just being picky because I've read pieces of yours that hit me hard.
Nice work with the prompt of using the word Denouement as the title. It works well
This is a really beautiful write it all flowed that the river onto the see
Well penned :)
5 years ago
Love the imagery, love the layout and flow and I love the fact that a smart arse such as myself had to look up the word 'denouement'
I like the idea of a residue of romance, just a hint that there was, or there was a potential but it has gone.
broken and stumble tie in great together in the 4th stanza.
good job, I hope you win the contest.
(or have won the contest looking at the submission date!!)
5 years ago
I will absolutely ALWAYS reference you when I think of cathartic - it was in your profile for ages and it's just a 'you' word, something I only see you use in poetry. I love that you're so tied to a particular word :)
I so love the second stanza here. It's got such a twinge of sadness, so often we work ourselves up into believing that somethings there when sadly it isn't. It's heartbreaking really, and it makes it so hard to be excited the next time "Mr. Right" (or so we think) comes along.
And then, blissful you, wrap it up by saying wait a minute, why am I wasting my time being sad... clearly it's not right and forget you, I'm movin' on.
I LOVE THIS. This screams you and your attitude. One of my favorite qualities about you is that you are so optimistic. You don't dwell. You allow yourself to feel the emotion for a bit and then boom! you force yourself to move on. Such control of the mind and spirit... it's a really beautiful quality/trait to have. :) Love this, Blissypoo!
Left with the residue
of a romance that ended
before it began
^This was such a strong part for me, it really brings the sadness to a new level. It's quite sad when love is never given a chance to live & blossom into something beautiful.
Loved the ending, so powerful yet sad. You did a great job with the title given, the denouement in being that love wasn't meant to be.
I got the feeling you wanted to portray, or at least what I think you meant, very quickly, and it's simply beautiful.
5 years ago
by Lune de ma vie
So simple yet so beautiful and deep.
"but I am always
left with the residue
of a romance that ended
before it began"
That was amazing, really deep and profound, in a way I can relate.
LOVE this.. "and as I strum my dreams
into a broken melody"
Such a deep metaphor and so much love and emotion within it, heartache and pain. Brought me to tears actually.
I found myself reading this one a few times before commenting on this, you really have a way with words.
Firstly, stop posting love poems to comment. I had to log back in three times then to be able to do so. Pft.
Secondly, can you believe I just had to look up the definition of cathartic, even after I have seen you use it before?!
I enjoyed this, I find most of the piece to be somewhat sad, yes. But I find how you state you have an epiphany inspiring. Sometimes, all we need is to stop focusing on the sad and to focus on what is really important in such circumstances to enable us to move forwards and on with our lives. You mentioning an epiphany makes me think that although you're upset that this romance has failed, you will refuse to brood on it and will move forward to bigger and better things, even if it is difficult to do so.
I really like the mentioning of strumming dreams-what unique wording! You manage to capture the powerfulness of music yet use it in such an original way which adds such power to this, instead of simply referencing music alone. Beautiful!
Ohhh how incredibly sad are your closing lines..they hit me with emotion hard. It's such a difficult thing to admit when we are not right for someone, and yet you manage to do so here whilst remaining somewhat positive (Back to your epiphany) and managing to captivate the reader into thinking -You may not have been meant to be, but you'll find someone worthy!
Beautifully penned. Sometimes the heart can get ahead of itself, and open the secret of it's beat to one who was never meant to decipher it. Simply Amazing.
4 years ago
by Tara Kay
This was oh so beautiful, yet heartbreakingly sad.
Love is a funny thing that causes emotion that cannot be matched with any feeling.
Yet the realisation, and epiphany that sometimes we need to step back and rethink and acknowledge what we have, want or need.