Untitled

by Xanthe   Jul 2, 2012


No longer do I fall asleep in your arms
nor do I fall in love with the darkest nights,
for I've finally found beauty in love
and I've allowed myself to hold on;
like a wilting vine hanging helplessly
(yet poisonously) between branches of
Grandfather's oak tree.

Lately, I'm led to believe that I am satisfied;
I did not argue with my tears to-night,
but I slept - dreamlessly.
And when I awoke, twilight was colder
than usual, but not as dark as it used to be.

This morning, I found myself looking deeper
in the mirror, before washing the sleep from
my eyes. Mother even greeted me a "good
morning" when I climbed down the creaking
stairs for breakfast.

So I assume what you used to tell me
holds its own truth, and I'm not simply
imagining what I thought transpired in
my yesteryears; I don't have to say
my goodbyes... yet.

Her eyes looked past mine from across the
round table (and I am wondering whether
she sees much of Father in them). She
scrutinized my every move as though
she's seeing me for the first time.

She watched as I lifted the fork slowly
to my parched mouth. She watched as
my restless fingers tapped nervously
upon oak. She watched as I brought
Father's cup 'pon my cracked lips -
and - sipped.

This morning, my tongue was not burnt
- for the first time -
coffee has never tasted so sweet.

When I left the house, I realised my
jacket no longer bear stains, and I
watched as a tear falls silently to the
white ground
- for the first time -

in twelve years.

06/30/12

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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Blissful

    What a captivating story! It just read so smoothly and sucked me in with your words. I love your use of descriptions and how you pay close attention to detail such as saying "cracked lips" rather than just lips because it really adds a mood to your poem that completes its message.

    " before washing the sleep from
    my eyes."
    ^I love how you worded this! So creative!

    I honestly could not say enough good things about this poem. All I will say is that it is one of my favorite poems I've read here, ever.

  • 5 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Xanthe,

    I wish that you would've put a title on this, however, I have no idea what it would be. This is an exquisite poem that deserves to have a name. Beautiful.

    'No longer do I fall asleep in your arms
    nor do I fall in love with the darkest nights,
    for I've finally found beauty in love
    and I've allowed myself to hold on;
    like a wilting vine hanging helplessly
    (yet poisonously) between branches of
    Grandfather's oak tree.'

    ^ Excellent beginning. It made me wonder who this person was, and I still don't know. It could be your father, whom you talk about through the poem, but since he died while you were young...or it could be something altogether different. Maybe you are not talking about a person at all. It is a very interesting beginning, mainly due to the fact that I know that some of your poems are packed with metaphors. It is also a very heartbreaking beginning, because it seems like you lost someone, but have moved on. I love the simile at the end though - that is absolutely beautiful to me, because I know what those vines look like, feel like, and do. So many different interpretations, but only you know...

    'Lately, I'm led to believe that I am satisfied;
    I did not argue with my tears to-night,
    but I slept - dreamlessly.
    And when I awoke, twilight was colder
    than usual, but not as dark as it used to be.'

    ^ As I have read this stanza, I have often wondered why there is a hyphen in 'to-night.' I don't think that I have ever seen it that way before...that might be the way you spell it. I would get rid of it, but this is not my poem :] I love twilight. I love the look of it, and the way that it is so cold in the morning. However, I have only been awake a couple times during twilight - way too early for me. This stanza makes me ache because can imagine what it feels like. The line, 'I did not argue with my tears to-night' makes me think that the person has argued with them quite often.

    'Her eyes looked past mine from across the
    round table (and I am wondering whether
    she sees much of Father in them). She
    scrutinized my every move as though
    she's seeing me for the first time.'

    ^ For some reason, this stanza makes me feel like the mother neglected her child just because she looks like her father. This kind of makes me a little emotional because I know what the repercussions are - nothing good I can assure you.

    'When I left the house, I realised my
    jacket no longer bear stains, and I
    watched as a tear falls silently to the
    white ground
    - for the first time -

    in twelve years.'

    ^ This is probably my favorite stanza(s), because you put so much emotion into it. So much even though you might not have meant to.

    Overall, I adore this piece. The imagery and the metaphors were so well put that I was having trouble deciphering the meaning :x I am so sorry that I have not commented on it until now. I am not trying to neglect your poems, I just really haven't had the time. I can only give you my thoughts on this and nothing else, because you always do your poems perfectly. You are one of my favorites, Xanthe, because you have such a way with words, and because you are YOU.

    You know that I love your work. I have always loved your work. I can read it over, and over, and still find different things about it that I didn't before.

    Excellent (sorry for taking up a good portion of your page)
    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by The Prince

    This poem is beautiful. If I wanted to, I could critique it, but it doesn't deserve to be stripped apart. One pet hate of mine is 'tween. It should be 'between', haha. I don't see what the shortening adds. :)

    Brilliant poem though. Very moving, deep, poignant. Ticks all the boxes.

    • 5 years ago

      by Xanthe

      Thank you.

      This was the first draft, and I'm not much of a fan of long sentences that's probably why I like using semi-colons. Anyway, the first stanza seemed a mouthful to me, and I thought it might be better.
      But finee, I'll change it :)

  • 5 years ago

    by SplitSided

    Looking deeper into the mirror...Whoa I've never written anything like this before but i like this one

  • 5 years ago

    by Yrem Crish

    Gush! I really love the story...so mesmerizing! You know I want to read it again and again but i have not enough time. Xanthe, just keep it up and continue writing...continue to spread and share your amazing talent. May god bless you always:))
    5/5

    ~Mery:))