A Loose Thread

by Xanthe   Aug 18, 2012


Ever since your voice dispersed my thoughts,
remolding them to fit your desires,
I have been feeling like a blank verse.
Constantly feeding me memories
and a past I never even had,
you made me believe in miracles
I never even knew existed.

Metered. Measured. Yet (you) miscalculated.

You spun me around your spinningwheel,
so slow and cautious on that first night.
I remember how sweat glazed your lips
and you never did bother resting
until you finished a part of me -
perfect - within your imperfect eyes.
You used to call me your masterpiece;
a masterpiece you've yet to complete...

Abandoned. Or merely forgotten?

You just vanished the day your wheel broke.
Perhaps I was too grey or maybe,
I turned out too cold to suit your tastes.
Too cold even to find a place in
Winter... Abandoned. Yes, abandoned.
And I long for someone to spin me
even if it be for the last time.
Rearrange me; free me from this (flawed)
verse.

08/07/12
For a club challenge.

1


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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Meme

    You are a true metaphor genius girl!!

    You nailed the images on this piece. Those one line sentences between verses are spot on. They added so much depth to the piece.

    So creative hon, your writings never fail to WOW me everytime.

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    You rocked this one. I love the idea
    feeling like a spinning wheel. Actually
    that was life is all about, spinning around.
    You have chosen the winter season.
    When things rather calm down with less
    activity due to the coldness. It can make
    you feel sluggish and sad, longing for the
    warmth.
    awesome

  • 5 years ago

    by Jenni

    I just love this poem, every bit of it and I wish I had written it lol!
    I know that I'll not leave a proper comment, but I wanted to actually leave something, so that you know that this poem got to me and I have to admit, that I just realized its beauty now that I see it submitted. Did not notice it was in the challenge or maybe I missed it?

    Anyways, I have been reading this poem aloud because I feel that then it gets even better! :) You would probably read it best nonetheless. x)

  • 5 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Opening stanza....phenominal! Seriously xanthe, you took this challenge and nailed it. I love how you said you "feel like a blank verse". What a statement! I loved it! So often people use poetry terms but never had I read it used the way you had it.

    Loved the single lines between the stanzas, I felt your quick little statements gave power to your voice and helped prove your point.

    Also, I think you did incredible incorporating the wheel idea into this poem. I loved how you used it and the tone it gave to this piece. Well done!

  • 5 years ago

    by Thomas

    Very good use of metaphors, I love it!

    Just remember that you are much more than a thread and you can spin your own life ;)