You (Ottava Rima)

While intoxicated, you see Him... a reminder of your religion and you automatically feel guilt for almost breaking His law. God drank wine, everyone knows that... but you feel like you were going past a limit that would be forming into a sin. You were using alcohol as a release of pain, as we sometimes do, we drink to relax. But He awoken you, he sobered you up... and you feel somewhat angry at Him for showing you your faults and yet grateful for Him pointing it out.

I like this piece a lot, can relate to it because I've had the same struggle myself... being young and wanting to drink yet being looked down upon because it's not the Christian way to live. But we all know there's a limit... and I think this poem is about God showing you that limit.

The form is wonderful, I'm glad you used it... it showcased this message well with the limited syllables and rhyme.

Oh Chelsey...this was very powerful. I can relate to some of the things, from the way I read this, the knowing that you shouldn't do something but the need that is there that makes you forget the consequences.

I can't say much, Saffie said enough and this is deep on a different level for me,
I love the form, it's difficult to pull of a rhyme form with the shortness of it, but you did, and still packed a punch.

xx

In the bottom of my shot glass, there I saw
the cross, the nails, the blood, the end of Your days.
Borderline I was, to breaking Your law.
Releasing pain in an alcoholic haze.

- so straight away I pick up on a tone of perhaps religion? Like you feel you have almost sinned by wanting to drink away your pain, but knowing it would cause great shame on your religion. I love the capital Y in Your, which implies to me it is about Jesus.

Sobriety remained, I was in awe.
Now caught between anger and grateful praise.
Drink after drink, I didnt feel a thing.
Maybe it was You. Did You stop the sting?

- I like how you showed yourself being in the trap of being proud but being guilty at the same time. We do that to ourselves so often.

I like this poem form and the rhyme to it, I was surprised you do this as know you do not like rhyming poems much but I do adore rhyme poems form or free style. I enjoyed the flow to this and the honestly of the content.

It is like you were having a conversation of reality to yourself - but at the same time, a conversation with God about what you feel you have done wrong.

On a deeper level, this could be taken into context of someone you love, who has made themselves seem as powerful as God, though I realise is probably not the case, but it could be so. They have made you think they are the only God around and the only person whose rules are to be followed and who you should be following. Kind of like someone you love but perhaps they are not all that good for you.

Interesting poem, well done.