A winters day

A winters day

its snowing outside
paints a pretty picture

i am inside
watching the little birds feed and hide
in the thick hedges of my garden
soon the soft bread i put out will harden
as the weather gets colder
and i get older

its warm in here
somehow warmth chases away the fears
fears about life
and how i struggle to cope with it
cold makes me feel alone
staring out at the snow
makes me feel far from home
the home i have inside myself
a place i live alone, noyone else

i sometime wander with my dogs
far across the feilds, in snow, rain , fog
places where no other footsteps have been
rest on a log, by a small stream
and am always amazed to catch a glimse of a fox
close to a wood, searching for food
i often wonder where its going
and where its been

its strange how animals
can stil bring some comfort to my troubled mind
like a fox, squirrel or mabye a deer
they also seem to calm my fears
gives me time, to to think
mabye contemplate my future, or fate

although outdoors i am still confined
to mental preasures of a kind
thoughts that just wont go away
feelings that refuse to leave , just stay
i think they wanty me to pay
for my past mistakes

music is playing
it soothes and relaxes me
gives me room to breathe
coffee is going cold
not warm to the touch
i miss being happy so much
makes me cry,
feel sad again, not sure why
left alone with my thoughts
makes me want to say good bye
to all the hurt and pain that is my life

just wish i was being held by my wife
her warm touch means so much
helps me get through another day
just want her to know i love her dearly
just hope she stays