Steel Rims and Mended Glass

by John Doe   Sep 26, 2014


It was a nice little slum,
before they came along.
With words so harsh to make us numb,
saying all we've done is completely wrong.

They say we'll show you,
what the real world looks like.
Introduce you to something new,
something all of you will like.

So we let them in,
but they were dastards after all.
Showing us the dreams of growth,
they planned to crush our souls.

They start with the steel rims,
introducing us to our limitations.
Showing us how our bones peep through our skins,
we know all that,don't add to our frustration.

And then there's the mended glass,
a half hear-ted attempt to make us better.
Confining us in a world not ours,
attracting us with a lure of bread and butter.

We want you to grow,
so educate with the things you don't need.
Basic maths and physics you should know,
you don't need to know to sow seeds.

Pushed us around in a way they found fit,
like we were dolls bought two for a buck.
You want us to study in room dimly lit,
without water to drink and hunger struck???

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Dancing Rivers

    Awesomeness!!! :-) just one or two more things,(hear-ted) did you do it on purpose for effect? If not, may I just add that it is written as (hearted) also instead of (so educate with things you don't need) try (to educate you...) Or (so we educate...) And (know to sow seeds) maybe (know how to...) And finally(..in room darkly lit) either (in rooms darkly lit) or (in a room darkly lit) and that'll be perfect :-)

  • 9 years ago

    by Dancing Rivers

    Lovely poem, very intense emotion within.may I make a suggestion or two? Line six, try use "what"the real world looks like.just do a little basic editing of misrelated participles , example (using, what instead of how) but basically it's a really good poem,I would like to read it again once you've done some editing :-)