Comments : The Bluebird

  • 2 years ago

    by Purvi Gadia

    I feel i've read this poem before.Did you delte it and are now posting it again??

    none the less i love it.Absolutely.

    • 2 years ago

      by Everlasting

      I had posted it before but I deleted it since I posted an unfinished version. Now that I feel is finished, I posted it.

      Thank you

  • 2 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I love bluebirds and am glad you shared this :)

    Great parallelism with "until my songs... until you wish, etc"

    I also like your ending line for each stanza as I feel lit wraps that stanza in security and gives peace toe the reader. That desire to be purely with this love, devoted to it in song, safe in each others' arms, is lovely. The second stanza of having those songs envelop this person, become their sea, brings such grace and depth to this piece. Also, with the last stanza, I imagine someone finally being accepted by and in love.

    This reminds me of something that one could read to a love or something you'd read on a porch at twilight, don't know why I thought of that!

  • 2 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    I'm glad you came back to this poem, Luce. The structure is excellent and the rhyme scheme draws the reader into the poem.

    I like the symmetry of transformation also: girl to bird by your wish, bird to sea by the wave of your song, sea to bird by his wish, bird to woman by mutual desire. Very sophisticated in the development as well as the motive force behind each transformation.

  • 2 years ago

    by alka mendiratta

    Loved the flow and the transformations,ultimately
    in the arms of your lover totally secured and at peace watching the' bluebird happily sing' .

    • 2 years ago

      by Everlasting

      Thank you Mary Anne, Mr. Larry and Alka.

  • 2 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Your a damn poetry freak.....this is awesome!!

    Why don't i have my nominate button yet :////

  • 2 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    You don't Ben, but I DO.

    OH My Lord!

    This is one of the most precious nature poems written on this website, at least as far as I read. I am blown away with the expressions you came up with.

    The structure and coherence all combined with such a breath of deep poetry is more than appreciated !
    I loved your tone as much as I loved the flow.
    Everything, every word, every image and every repetition was nailed.

    I believe it's a perfect piece, one full package.

    the until until until and and and and, the persistence and passion just made me smile like an idiot.

    What a master piece!

  • 2 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    I can sing this!

  • 2 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Lol thank you

    Me too! I can sing it... I just don't have the voice for it lol

  • 2 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    This nature poem has it all. The peace, the love, warmth, deep feelings and the freedom to spread one's wings and fly, in this case to let your pen loose to nature's beauty. A heart warming read...a song!

  • 2 years ago

    by earlgreytea

    I sing. XD 5/5 Mister Everlasting. :)

  • 2 years ago

    by liliumity

    I really, really like this. The use of repitition, the interesting rhyming style, the story hidden in it. It's something that demands to be read aloud to be appreciated to its fullest extent, and those are my personal favorite kind of poems.

    Awesome job! <3

  • 2 years ago

    by Purvi Gadia

    Ohhh... Congratulations on the win miss ;-)

  • 2 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Luuuuuuuce!! Congratulations on the win :)) I was going to write another comment but i think i'll just repeat my original one......Your a damn poetry freak.....this is awesome!!

    :P

  • 2 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Yay! Congrats, Luce! An honor to share the front page with you and what a lovely poem :)

  • 2 years ago

    by Poetess

    Out of the 260 views on this, I think I'm at least 50 of those. Every time I log on I have to read this. It's just so...mesmerizing? It gives off such a strong yearning feeling. I can't explain it. there are very few poems that make me feel some kind of way and this is definitely one of the top. I can almost hear it being sung, too. I absolutely love the repetition, not just the "untils", but other lines throughout that you repeat a couple of times. The rhyming, structure and flow are just impeccable. This is going in my favorites.

  • 2 years ago

    by anand singh

    Beautifully penned. thanks for reading my poem.

  • 2 years ago

    by ThugPoet

    This poem blew me away! I loved it, simply loved it. I love the language you used and the symbology and tones ... definitely one of my favorite poems I've recently read on this site ... : )

  • 2 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    This is such an uplifting poem bursting with beautiful scenes, and also a lovely rhythm with the words which makes it such a joy to read over and over. The author has captured a beautiful scene, and expressed it to us in these words. Fantastic write for Everlasting this week.

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    "And in a cuddle flee to warmer lands" -
    Lovely line. Beautiful poem.

  • 2 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment:

    Everlasting makes me smile when she writes nature poems.

    She has such a unique outlook on things and the way she scribes her poems. A writer all of her own style, it's a delight to read.

    I became speechless with the message and flow of this piece.

    The style of repetition within this piece is just what this poem needed to stand out above the rest.

    Bluebirds are inspiring, nature is breathtaking and this poem is truly elegant!