Free fall

Agree with Ben - the repetition really works here as does the layout. Excellent piece.

Hi,

I like this poem very much...

I feel like free falling,
falling,
falling,
falling tonight,
into you,
into this,
into us.
^
This form appeals to me greatly. The style and repeated words, falling and into. As this reader follows the lines and allows the meaning og the words to steep he falls into...

I become weightless,
and I breathe you in,
like you are life,
my life,
like oxygen,
and I am alive.
^
... a place where gravity is absence. The imagery is excellent and to imagine a love where their all is something to be breathed, like a need of air to breathe.

I smile because you do,
and you smile,
for a while,
times stops,
^
the way you force a stop by leaving this word at the end of the line is good.

and I do,
to look at you.
^
and the echoed word leading into the 'and I do'

Because I did,
and I do,
you do too,
I love you,
for you,
for me,
for us.
^
repeated words again and very effective - single syllables deliver punch and hit the spot. Short lines are easy to read and the poem reads fast like a shot of adrenaline.

And I keep falling,
weightless,
still smiling,
into this love,
my love,
You!
^
Last stanza summarizes the weightless, falling sense of loving completely and being care free of others opinion of this.

Well done indeed - I love this and it is going into my favorites.

take care,

Michael

This is a very lovely poem. Really sweet and adorable. A fine flow.

Meme I love this poem so damn much :)

I sometime find repitition in a poem annoying and it makes my mind wandder off topic but you nailed it within this piece, ou created such wonderful emotions that genuinly make the reader feel like they are free falling right next to you :) thats such a hard thing to do and here it is effortless! I hope Syrup reads this piece she'll love it!!

As always your word choice etc are excellent and I really like the format its almost falling off my screen!!

Wonderful write and absorbing read :) Added to Favs and Nominated!