A Letter to Solitude - The Companions in my heart.

by Everlasting   Nov 19, 2015


Solitude,

you visited my life in my gloomy times
whenever I had chased everyone away.

You invited depression into my heart,
and subsequently, depression fell in love
with my sadness. They got married.
A celebration filled with tears took place
inside my being.
And since I couldn't let go of my sadness,
they settle in. ( She was everything I had).
So I learned to live with both of them.

But, a year later, as it's almost accustomed
in every marriage, they had a child.
They named it insomnia.
This child grew day by day, more and more.
He cried every night, more and more.
He disturbed my sleep, so much, so much
until it made my sleep leave me alone.

Years later, Insomnia became a teenager:
He joined gangs, became a rebel.
He kicked and punched my eyes
until they became dark, so dark
that I could barely open my eyelids.

I then had no option but to feed him drugs,
to give to him tranquilizers: Yes, tranquilizers!
and to pray that my sleep would come back.

It seemed to work, my sleep
started to visit me, but it was temporarily.
Those drugs were not sufficient
to tranquilize Insomnia
who always ended up chasing
my sleep to the entrance door and out.

Specially, after insomnia spent time with his parents
because Depression and my sadness ...

They were too busy discussing their lamentations.
They were too busy sharing their pain
They were too busy to see
that their child had serious problems.

They were clearly a dysfunctional family.
And I tried to ignored them, to not get involved
while every night I contemplated the ceiling of my room
in hope that insomnia would stop crying
and that my sleep would finally come back,
but nothing seemed to work.

Insomnia continued developing
until he became a young adult. I started worrying even more
when Insomnia lost its control.
I reached a point where I lost my appetite,
and it was until then that I knew that I couldn't handle the situation
anymore and that it was time to seek professional help.

I only hoped that it was not too late.

----

Solitude, you thought of me...

You invited depression into my heart
to add other meanings into my life;
to made me see that we are never alone,
that we can always have all sort of companions
in our hearts, in our lives.

You taught me that we can all decide who lives in us.
And that one shouldn't be ashamed to seek for help.

Solitude,

all I have to say is thanks.

Written by: L.L.

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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    This one here hit home for me. You described it so well. Depression and sadness and not being able to sleep. It is a everyday struggle our mood can change quickly it's like being a ticking time bomb. It will take everything in you to make it through. Often we do cry out for help but society looks funny at us.others don't understand. In their eyes we are crazy. My disability is all about the above but I am not ashamed anymore to seek help when needed.thank you for sharing