Mystified.

by Poet on the Piano   Feb 7, 2016


A hundred times my words
have changed but my voice
still sounds the same, coming
and going as freely as the
songbirds at glory's first morn.

I still have questions that
no one can answer for me.
These questions boil my blood
and enter my sleep until I
wake up choking regret.

Some things are too complex
to be solved. Never was I
going to be saved by you.
I can't resurrect life or recreate
your prayer beads of trust.

I know you must have cared
when I didn't know nightmares
from my right or left hand,
how you helped me discern them.

Now? I'm not sure if
losing me is a loss for you.
You have such an ability
to move on - I, an ability to
do more than just harbor love.
Love must be nurtured and
manifested, cared for in
tenderness.

I got drunk off of your goodness;
you were always lukewarm
while I was too numbed by
my own (and the world's) cold.
But it's time to be soothed
by something other than
memories.

I need new faith in something,
or someone, else.

- Written 2/03 as more of a freewrite then edited 2/07

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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by DarkLight

    Beautifully penned .

  • 1 year ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    A hundred times my words
    have changed but my voice
    still sounds the same, coming
    and going as freely as the
    songbirds at glory's first morn.

    - this opening stanza describes how I feel about my poems lately, like the voice is saying the same old story but the words keep changing. I guess that is what happens when we process our emotions onto paper!
    Love the metaphor of the birds, a beautiful touch and great way to open a poem.

    I still have questions that
    no one can answer for me.
    These questions boil my blood
    and enter my sleep until I
    wake up choking regret.

    - It shows here how painful and frustrating it is to have all these unanswered questions in your mind, bt also knowing that you are the only one who can answer them. I like how you showed us how they haunt you even when you sleep.

    Some things are too complex
    to be solved. Never was I
    going to be saved by you.
    I can't resurrect life or recreate
    your prayer beads of trust.

    - Amazing last line there, constructed so well together!
    It also holds the realisation that perhaps you once believed this person could have saved you, because that is what you desparately wanted to believe, but now you know that was never really going to happen at all.
    The word complex stands out here, knowing there is no easy answer or fix to something this complicated.

    I know you must have cared
    when I didn't know nightmares
    from my right or left hand,
    how you helped me discern them.

    - A good point to make about how the relationship once was, and how they made you feel safe and protected, showing they really did care a lot.

    Now? I'm not sure if
    losing me is a loss for you.
    You have such an ability
    to move on - I, an ability to
    do more than just harbor love.
    Love must be nurtured and
    manifested, cared for in
    tenderness.

    - Contrasted well with the thought that they no longer care at all about your pain or suffering, or at least not in the way they once did.

    I got drunk off of your goodness;
    you were always lukewarm
    while I was too numbed by
    my own (and the world's) cold.
    But it's time to be soothed
    by something other than
    memories.

    - The tone of your will to move on here is evident, wanting to find something better, these memories are no longer a comfort or a pleasure, and you know it is time to move on.

    I need new faith in something,
    or someone, else.

    - love the ending! I think this is really you finding your own answer to your questions really, but there is still a hint of hesitation between the lines, still something that perhaps you are looking/waiting for, that will make you hang onto this and not have to walk away from it. But the hardest part is knowing whether we are being realistic or not about what will happen, and being brave enough to admit the truth of it.

    Another great write.