Earth Day Offering (Shakespearean Sonnet)

by Maple Tree   Apr 20, 2016


Within shadows, darkness falls from the moon
star glow flames the magical sky above
I hear midnight calling, a well known tune
surrounded by silence, I fall in love.

For nature it seems is within my soul
a devoured fortress I've built inside
just a castle of leaves, twigs to feel whole
nothing lost, nothing forgiven, I hide.

Earthy beginnings engulf my slow breath
spirits dangle from each whisper granted
exhaling ghostly reminders of death
I shall decay slow, beauty enchanted.

Journey beyond a raven sky so high
earthy remnants of wings, forever fly.

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A Shakespearean (English) sonnet has three quatrains and a couplet, and rhymes abab cdcd efef gg.
10 syllables

9


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Saerelune

    Hi there, I'm catching up on all the comments I didn't post yet when I was judging the weekly contest! Here you go:

    "Simply said: this is a very magical poem. I got a soul-searching vibe from this. I loved how nature was embedded deep into the persona, her own body, almost feigning personification. Nature was truly brought to life in this poem and I loved the crisp descriptions. As for the format, I barely noticed anything, which is a good thing because it means that it was easy to read / didn't feel forced. The rhyming might not be "fully correct", as there are mostly half rhymes, but I wasn't bothered by it. Syllable count was also spot on, except I'm not sure about the second stanza's second line, probably because I pronounce "devoured" with 2 syllables only. The only true remark I'd have regarding the format is probably the third stanza's fourth line, where the grammar was adjusted to get 10 syllables (slow should be slowly), but that's just a nitpicky remark as a result of reading more analytically. But like I said, for the casual reader the poems feels nice to read."

  • 1 year ago

    by Darren

    Judges comment

    I would have given this a 10 if it was written in old English to match the Shakespearean theme.
    But to write a sonnet is difficult enough so it gets my 7, Syllable count checked and is correct.
    Nice detail throughout as I would expect from Maple tree.
    Another one of her poems that takes you on a journey as her words whisper around your ears.
    7 points

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Andrea, this is so beautiful! I love the imagery you've made with this lovely sonnet. Hauntingly beautiful! Congratulations on your win, well deserving.

  • 1 year ago

    by Deana

    This was really hauntingly beautiful!

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Andrea,

    a lovely poem. Shakespearean sonnets are challenging and put many writers off. This nature sonnet is full of love; a gift for Earth and a gift for us here at PnQs.

    Well done,

    Michael