How many times have I been on this Earth?
When I say that I mean how many times have I died and came back,
Our body's are mere shells that trap the soul until we ultimately meet our fate,
but it feels to me I'm sentenced to walk this Earth in new forms for eternity,
Is this my Karma?
have I messed up so bad in this life and previous ones that I am forever punished?
Samsara is my life sentence and Moksha is but an advertisement on the tv,
"You too can achieve Moksha by living your life righteous" as I pace back and forth banging my empty tin cup against my cell bars,
I had a Marla Singer approach to life,
I knew I could die at any moment,
the tragedy is that it hadn't happened yet,
maybe that's been my mantra in my previous lives,
Longing for death so passionately that I become a functioning shadow,
Living my life normal,
but wishing that every time I crossed the street it would be my last steps,
That never happened,
I wish I could just be like the Lotus Flower,
Emerging from a murky pond clean and pure,
Everyday day I rise and every night I set,
Sometimes it just feels like wishful thinking.