The cockney and the cockey

by Michael   Jun 29, 2017

“‘ere your current bun”
What! my son?
“Yeah, ‘e was in a right ole two and eight”
Was he? in a real old state?,
“A propa’, Lionel Blair ‘e was”
I’m sorry he can be a nightmare.

“I mean its all a bit Pete Tong, my Barney Marlin”
What is all wrong? Although I’m not your darling
“Well ‘e was Alan Border, my dear”
So he was he out of order? My dear!!

“Yeah! sha’tin his north and south off,
elephants trunk, takin’ an athur ash
all over my Steve Claridge”
I see, shouting his mouth off,
drunk and weeing all over
your garage.


“Well I suppose he’s just a Rob Roy,
I mean I was a tea-pot lid, donkeys ears ago”
Oh yes! He is a boy alright, and you know well,
being a kid many years ago.

“Any-rate, no Fred McMurray’s
just keep yer mince pies on ‘im”
and don't worry I will definitely keep my eyes on him.

“Na, Barney Rubble my turtle dove”

I’m glad its no trouble, although I’m not your love!

Yes goodbye.

Cockney whispers to himself “silly old chairman Mao”


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Michael

    Note: just to say if you don't know, the 'rhyming slang' used in my poem is old London cockney language. Still used today in old London areas. And can be very funny, what the slang means/translated :)

    • 1 year ago

      by mossgirl19

      My nose almost bled, had to grind this in my head, the language is splendid, the story quite candid.