Staring at my own reflection on this blade,
As it calls my name,
As it pleads to hit against my wrist,
I start to think,
"Was this all a dream?",
"Was this my grim reality?",
I look at myself in the mirror one last time,
Take a deep breath,
Sit back down,
Next to the razor,
Not picking it up yet,
Grabbing sheets of paper,
Each one harder to write my apologies on,
As I look at the picture of mom and dad,
And that fake smile I wore for so many years,
That smile that had everyone think,
"Oh he's okay.",
Picking up that final paper,
Sighing heavily knowing this is the last time,
The last time they'll hear from their son,
"Mom, Dad. I want you to know you're both my heroes but, I'm sorry what you'll find when you're home tonight. You'll find your oldest son lifeless.
Mom, I don't want you to blame yourself as the doctors take my body away. You have been an amazing mother and no one I repeat NO ONE can take that away from you.
Dad, I know you didn't want me to die before you. I'm sorry but I had to. I had too many demons in my head chasing me. I love you."
As my lifeless body is taken away,
The last thing shown in my messages,
"Go kill yourself!! No one would care. You're just a writer that practically begs for attention. You no longer have that creative flow!!"
Were you really serious while writing it or it's just a fiction?
I hope it's just a fiction or may be someone else story you wrote here.
See, I am an amateur here too, so I can't advice you or say what right or wrong, but one thing I can say that you write well and as Mark pointed out one of the best line of this poem.. I agree with him.
This is a very serious journey you take the reader on. From the excellent way you described the blade as pleading for your wrist. To the composition of the letter, the contents within the letter are very direct. Overall has a good flow. I found the reference to the family photo very moving.
The last stanza reveals how hurtful words can lead to such acts.