Secrets From My Past

Never wanted you to know
never really trusted you
never thought of telling you
the secrets of my past

never wanted you to know
why every day i have new scars
never trusted you enough
to tell you of my horrid fears
the secrets of my past

but you found out
and laughed out loud
when some one told you
all my inner scars
the secrets of my past

you told me face to face
that you now new
and than laughed at all my pain
the secrets of my past

you asked me why
i never told you
so i laughed straight back at you
and watched you standing. staring
you new the secrets of my past

i asked you back
would you tell me if you wanted to die?
would you tell me that you can't help but cry?
would you tell me that you constantly cut
you watch the blood to focus you're pain?
and would you tell me, the secrets of your past?

see the secrets of my past
still hurt me every day
they never seem to fade away
i feel i should explain

when i was 14
i was raped you see
by a guy, i used to call a friend
i told my sister, she told the cops
they told my parents, the pain never stops!

you see he hit me, to get me down
pillow on my face, to muffle the sound
it felt like forever, until he walked away "That's all you're good for, you ugly *****"

he left me there on my own
my clothes just piled on top of me
than i walked home
pitch black, nothing left
nothing left for me

please keep my secret
my secret from the past
i still can't help but cut myself
don't cry for me now, I'm fading fast!

(C) Lucy Green

thank you for reading my poem, it really means heaps to me so thank you every one