Screaming from the inside

Looking in the mirror, I have to admit
Is easier than it was
But now it has been replaced with a new problem
That happens just because.

For no longer do i hate the person
That is staring back in my room
Instead i have a new fear to hide
That I'm scared of showing too soon

I try to hide this fear
And be grateful for the things i have
But the things i don't have keep coming back
Just to watch me cry and be sad

My friends i have now are amazing
They'll be there through thick and thin
But the thoughts from my home keep following me
I just don't want to give in.

I don't want to take advantage
And complain to my friends all the time
So i hide my feelings as well as i can
Hoping they can't see I'm not fine.

But the pain inside is growing
I don't know how much more i can take
I don't like to admit that I'm weak and can't cope.
And anyway, now it's too late.

Too late to show them how i feel
I don't know what to say
How do i start to tell them about
The things that happen everyday.

I should be strong enough to cope with all this
And spend my time helping them instead
But other things keep happening
So this all builds up in my head.

I feel like i need to run away from here
Or scream until i fall to the ground
And just lay there for days on end
Until someone notices I'm not around.

I don't no where to go now
Or who to ask for help.
I'm stuck with the pile of emotions
That are adding to my self doubt.

I hope this feeling won't last much longer
Or that the problems will go away.
And then i can move on from my past,
And learn to love each new day.