Stilled

As the blood spills down my arm,
My thoughts grow rash.
I cut too deep too long,
This time I will have to pay.

The note I left,
Sorrows shall be found and fed,
When the sun rises in the morning,
Then they will have a better understanding.

My legs, and arms, all cut up,
Bloody, torn,
To match my insides, all torn up!
Never again to have to deal with it.

I am the one in control of fate,
My fate, my walk, my journey...
Will soon end, with a bloody,
Note, body, life, and smile.

I laugh at all of you,
Those I left behind.
I guess I have cut too deep for too long!
Maybe this wasn't such a good end.

I start to second guess myself,
Guessing now its too late.
An addict to just one more cut,
One more dice of the skin.

Its over, ended, stopped.
Finally no more earthly pain,
No suffering, no torment.
Its gone and dealt with.

My body found,
Found by the one who wasn't meant to.
My sister, my little baby sister,
Stumbled upon my body. It was a chance I took!

She laid down beside me,
Her ardent body, against my piercing lifeless one.
The innocence oozing out of her, Death firmly planted on me.
Tears drip silently down her cheek.

Carved into my arm was,
"I'm sorry", how can I not be.
Leaving them, all alone..
It is once again my fault.

Do not mourn for me,
Not a single tear to be shed.
I am not worth your pain,
I'm worth more dead.