Wearing Out

Married to the man of many faces
What am I going to do,I ponder day and night
No answers come,depression slowly creeping in
I am afraid and lonely,to keep sane,I must battle it all
And this battle is wearing me down
and I am overwhelmed
And there is no one to turn to,there is no one to hold me and tell me it is all going to be alright
And looking at him,how lost and confused must he be
Traveling back and forth between decades,looking at me as if I was a stranger or worse an enemy
Sometimes glimpses of love for me
but mostly anger and resentment
Not remembering what we did last week,but remembering every mistake I made in the last fifteen years
Afraid that he is going to lose everything and knowing that if it keeps up this way he surely will
Frustrated as he knows life is not the same,so he hides in front of the TV and stays disconnected.
And I leave him there as when we are not talking there is no confrontation and all conversations lead to confrontation
Our differences stay distant and there is a false sense of calm in the air,as no one can hear the desperate screaming on the inside.
We both deserve better than this and I don't know how to fix it
Leaving doesn't seem to be an option and staying this way doesn't seem to be an option
And I look for a Miracle and I keep hoping I will find one because without that thought there would be nothing left of me

Written by L.G.

My Hubby had Brain Tumor surgery last year