Overall, I think you did a pretty good job on this. There are a few flaws, though. I really wasn`t feeling the flow ;; it seemed to fluctuate a bit, and it just wasn`t steady. I think the rhyming, on the other hand, was great. You did a good job, 4/5.
Thanks so much for commenting on my new poem! It was much appreciated ;; thanks!!
That was.....fricken awesome? I think so. Its a wonderful concept and the poem is configured so well around it. It seems to explain itself, and I think that the explanation at the end while not completely neccessary also wound the poem to end perfectly. Great job, what more can I say?