Comments : On One December Morning

  • 12 years ago

    by JAY Poet

    Great poem i loved it girl please write another poem im dying to hear some more lol!!

  • 12 years ago

    by Simon Hayes

    Sad and gut wrenching. Very poignant.

  • 12 years ago

    by Darien

    Wow, that was a very terrifying poem. So sad, and so powerful. It scares me to know that kids can carry guns to school. A very good poem, I like the story from beginning to.. well, the ending was sad, but the heroine must die sometimes. Very creative write, I'm not sure if it's a story that happened to someone you know, or something you heard, but I'm sure it's true, somewhere in the world at least. Awesome stuff!

  • 12 years ago

    by emmajaynexo

    I liked this one in particular.
    It shows a situation that could happen anywhere all over the world.
    Like Darien, it shocks me to think people would bring knifes to a place of learning where people should feel safe.
    Great Poem !

  • 12 years ago

    by Nate

    Awesome poem Tinyd! I teach school so your poem really hits home. I loved the way you rhymed your sentences. It flowed smoothly but at the same time the pace made my heart flutter.
    Nate aka "The Tie Guy"

  • 12 years ago

    by Angie

    Ok TinyD, here is your critique.... it's heartfelt, emotional and beautifully written. There really isn't anything I would change except to delete 2 words, and they are, 4th stanza "when" and 7th stanza "and" Other than that, the rhyme and flow make for a wonderful read that tells a very sad story.......

  • 12 years ago

    by xXxAngelEyes007xXx

    It's so so so sad

  • I fukin loved dis poem its so sad!!5/5 babez! well done!

  • 12 years ago

    by obsessedgurl

    I especially like this stanza:

    As she falls onto the floor
    The tears fall from her eye
    She wonders who will be the one
    To tell her mom goodbye

    That is so touching!! Great job

  • 12 years ago

    by Fighter

    Poignant and amazing!!! wow...

  • 12 years ago

    by *princess*of*no*where*

    That was good. You know the sad thing is that really does happen.

  • 12 years ago

    by firexflys

    Wow o my goodness im at a loss of words this was one of the sadest poems i have ever read i wanted to cry the messages is amazing you never know when it could all end makes you think huh keep up the amazing work 5.5

  • 12 years ago

    by Amberinaa

    Wow, thats really good. it sounds like something i would write. Its amazed me!! Your a great poet. Do you think you could check some of mine out?

    Thanx
    Amberinaa**

  • 12 years ago

    by Roxy

    Omg as soon as i read the first line i knew it was sad
    it was amazing a streak of tears came down my chek then
    it was so sad
    xoxroxyxox

  • 12 years ago

    by Knoxy

    Hey, this is really good...i got cold shivers when i read this..it's so scary, and i know that it happens around the world...makes you realize how much ppl actually take for granted...great job..take care..5/5
    ~Luv Alwayz Knoxy

  • 12 years ago

    by amor

    I love the flow of your poem
    and its simpleness...
    it really has something...
    and your choice of its story is unique....

  • 12 years ago

    by Bridgette

    Wow that is really sad.. it gave me chills.. You did a great job on this!

  • 12 years ago

    by StephanieH

    Wow, I absoloutely LOVE this poem, it's very well written, with a deep meaning and you can really picture the words you've used throughout this poem.. nice job

    comment mine please thanx.

  • 12 years ago

    by blast5226ball

    It maybe another story behind this.
    Anyway it's awesome
    Great work you done
    Keep it up!

  • 12 years ago

    by MissAlotta

    Heartbreaking sad, especially this stanza, brought a tear to my eye

    "As she falls onto the floor
    The tears fall from her eye
    She wonders who will be the one
    To tell her mom goodbye"

    Yet you did an excellent job, keep up the great poems 5/5