Understatement

by Kaylee   Aug 14, 2006


To swear I shall desire the tender flame,
Cursing within depths of a virgin soul,
Igniting passion embedded in the sand,
Tucked against springs' renewal energy,

To swear I shall yearn your gentle touch,
Of hands pushing through tangled hair,
Searching twinkling eyes with such a gaze,
In which to rival that of Juliets' Romeo.

To swear I long for a cinnamon kiss,
While rasberry lips search your own,
As we await the comming of our dawn,
Could just as well be an understatement.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Bret Higgins

    I t has a certain something, but to be honest I think that there's a certain something missing, too. I'm not sure what it is, but I know it's there, for me at least.

    To swear I long for a cinnamon kiss,
    While rasberry lips search your own,
    As we await the comming of our dawn,
    Could just as well be an understatement.

    The laast line, whilst being fine in its own right doesn't fit with the rest of the verse.

    Maybe it's the comma in the previous line that joins it in the wrong way. I guess I feel it's a strong enough statement to stand out on its own.

    Bret

  • 17 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    I really liked it.. I think it would have done a lot better if it had a better flow, but I really loved it... It's a lot different from the other love poems and THAT'S what I love. Great job.

    xDarkSuicidex 5.5

  • 17 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Ooo. I like this one a LOT! The descriptions in it are so precise, and gives the reader an actual image of what exactly you're talking about, which is a great talent to have when writing a poem. Great write. =) 5/5 xoxo

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie

    Aw! Kaylee! This was so cute. I loved the last stanza! Your flow and rhyming were great as per usual. Such a heartfelt piece. Loved it! Keep it up! 5/5

    Natalie``

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