Make Me Perfect {Kyrielle Sonnet}

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   Jan 1, 2007

I love the repetition of 'make me' and 'perfect' in this. Sorry if you don't.

Make me perfect, make me your doll,
Hold me close, and I will not fall.
Make me just like an endless time,
Make me perfect, a thoughtless crime.

No one's perfect; I am a twist,
Hold me close, and I won't be missed.
I am finally at perfect prime,
Make me perfect, a thoughtless crime.

Now caress such a perfect face,
A perfect thought, not perfect waste.
But, this will only take some time,
Make me perfect, a thoughtless crime.

Make me perfect, make me your doll,
Make me perfect, a thoughtless crime.


Kyrielle Sonnet consists of 14 lines (three rhyming quatrain stanzas and a non-rhyming couplet).
Just like the traditional Kyrielle poem, the Kyrielle Sonnet also has a repeating line or phrase as a
refrain (usually appearing as the last line of each stanza). Each line within the Kyrielle Sonnet
consists of only eight syllables. French poetry forms have a tendency to link back to the beginning
of the poem, so common practice is to use the first and last line of the first quatrain as the ending
couplet. This would also re-enforce the refrain within the poem. Therefore, a good rhyming scheme
for a Kyrielle Sonnet would be:

AabB, ccbB, ddbB, AB -or- AbaB, cbcB, dbdB, AB.


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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    *Breathes a breath of fresh air* - I needed that.
    I liked the repetition, it made sense as the title.
    It's nice to see someone being creative with a form too, always good writing practice.
    I loved the idea of being a doll, and a thoughtless crime, I agree.
    This is hard to crit but I will say I stumbled on the third line of the second stanza, maybe the meter dipped there?
    Thanks for sharing. I'll add you to my favs.

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Another favourite of mine would be this one.
    The repetiton worked really well, and the first line had me completely hooked.
    I didn't want it to end, but I wasn't disappointed when it did.

  • 11 years ago

    by e LIZ a beth

    Woah good job. i love the poem. the title draws you in. its so good. great job. you did an amazing job. you have major tallent. keep it up. im def going to keep reading. great job

  • 11 years ago

    by Bridget

    I loved that! it was really good (of course!).. i too loved how you repeated 'make me' and 'perfect', and how you repeated that same line at the end of every stanza made the poem so much more gripping. I think it's amazing how you know so many styles of poetry, I can see you've really researched about poetry. That was an awesome poem 5/5 :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Espoirfailed

    Sometimes repititon works, sometimes it doesn't. here you've used it very effectively and it only makes ur point that much stronger, i think u have real talent!
    i also enjoyed the clever structure and format of the poem, well done