Abandoned

Lots of emotion. it is absolutely amazing! i love it. i could see it while i was reading it

Well I think the ending could've come a lot more slower than it did. It just sort of stopped. Like when you're driving a car and you don't see a stop sign until the very last second and you slam on the brakes. I just thought you were trying to sum all of it up in too small of a stanza.

The flow was good for the most part, minus a few lines that were a bit rocky.

[it speeds {of} into the distance]
^^Correction: {off}

It needs a bit of work, but I do think it's possible. Keep up the writing and you'll get it. =) 4/5 xoxo

Samantha

Awww this is terribly sad come live with me lol then you'll have a home wow this almost made me cry

The words you used to get your poing across was great! empty shell. i love those two words. perfect i say.

5/5 David

I reach out as if to touch them
the rain washing away my tears
but the only people i've ever known walk away
and leave me with my fears

The third stanza seemed a bit long and out of place in this poem.

i stand here in the darkness
it hurts to be so lonely
so hard to be abandoned
and the people walk around me

lonely and me don't rhyme so again it broke it off a bit.

I loved this poem except for minor hiccups so i award you a 4.5 for a very original, creative and sad piece.

Thank you