The question that seems to nag at me like a hungry shark to a bloody corpse is
"How Do i feel?" That's a loaded question.
i feel this immense physical pain deep within my being.
The Pain is unbearable! It is a feeling of bottled up
emotions and memories that tear without mercy at
my soul - trying with all Its might to reach the surface
my mind! i mask or hide the Pain behind a wall
of smiles and jokes. The wall wears thin and the
foundation is starting to crack. i can't help but scream
at the top of my head "It hurts! It hurts! Oh God it hurts!" The screams bounce off the walls of my inner
mind as the world goes on by oblivious to my cries.
i imagine myself clawing at my chest and releasing
the Pain from Its fleshy prison! i can taste the bitterness
in my mouth no doubt a reaction caused by the
unyielding onslaught upon my soul. Cry? No, i cannot.
To cry would provide a liquid conduit allowing the Pain
to travel the waters of my emotions toward the shore
of my facade. Does anyone see? i am barely hanging
on by my fingertips - hanging dangerously above the
Pit Of Despair. My grip is slipping. i want so bad
to hug my arms around myself and help my weakening
soul by squeezing the Pain and suffocating It - but to
do that would mean letting go but then i would fall.
This is sad indeed. All this hidden sadness deep inside cannot keep for a eternity. Never be afraid to cry, no crying is no form of weakness. If you can cry it means you're strong enough to let those sad emotions out and can now smile from the heart, well done, kel.