Tossed Around

by Angela   Jul 29, 2007


She has been so lost and confused
for all her 16 years
so sick and tired of being used
sick of looking in the mirrors

She's done of being told what to do
done of caring what they think
won't ever take them being rude
or else she'll start to sink

Sink in the well of wrong and right
drown in the stories shes been told
she'll finally get some sleep tonight
so she can let her life unfold.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    Wow, great flow and beautiful rhymes. This seems really thought out. I have no criticism for this one. 5/5

    marcella

  • 16 years ago

    by disturbed one

    5/5

    lol i dont know what to say its really awesome though

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    Angela,

    Good work. Like the above reviewer, I didn't particularly feel satisfied with the overall development of the poem. It seemed to me to be mere portions of an even greater poem. I hoped you'll expand it with more coherent details, though. But then, again...

    I liked how you stated this line: "Sink in the well of wrong and right". It was relatively sophisticated in illustrating the gap between thoughts, metaphorically. :) Nicely done, m'dear.

    Take care,
    Marian

  • 16 years ago

    by DepthofPassion

    I thought this was really good...for some reason however i dont feel that is finished...i feel the story maybe greater than this...but it is still good.

    Brit

  • 16 years ago

    by Fsams

    Sink in the well of wrong and right
    drown in the stories shes been told
    she'll finally get some sleep tonight
    so she can let her life unfold.

    Wow loved this stanza. The wordings are powerful with appropriate lexis. Great flow and rhythm. 5/5 all the way

    Tc
    Fsams

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