Heaven Needed a Hero (Collab)

I love this its is an amazing piece peace out lol

The trees whisper softly,
His name, they beckon
The wind catches it,
Flowing and moving on.
- that is amazing imagery, nature always gives like little kick to poetry, especially the personification you used, in the wind catches it.

In there is a missing piece,
When you left you took that part.
- that part nearly brought tears to my eyes, its amazing how really talented poets, can take a simple line, and put so much heart into it. thats its full of emotion.

Hours I spend: alone and isolated,
The pain, a throbbing ache inside
Despair my constant companion
Haunting memories, I cannot hide
- you described every feeling that you feel when someone you are so close to dies. you can feel the pain with every word that you wrote in that stanza.

A thought suddenly dawn's upon me
Just as the moon starts to fade below
My question is finally answered:
"I guess Heaven Needed A Hero"
- that brought the biggest smile to my face, its very true and heartfelt. and it'll probally have me smiling all day. :]

absolutely amazing write.
problem: i'll have to do your two love poems that you listed in discussion later, as the love section is blocked on my work computer. also thanks for the comments, coming from a mod, it put me in such a good mood :]

WOW you and Brittney have done a wonderful job here. You have really outdone yourselves here and I feel honored to have read it.

I can feel the pain through this and the part about Heaven needing a hero just really hit home for me. I felt the devastating pain when my gamma died and it still hurts to this very day.

Well penned you two.

~~Sher

Oh my good lord.

I have tears in my eyes from this. What is it with people making me want to cry with their work today. Lmao

Okay. Anyway.

This is just beautiful, so incredibly sad and moving, and such a touching write. I find this to be very bittersweet.

The first two stanza's, I find the flow to be a little off. Maybe it's the way I'm reading it but it just doesn't seem to sit right with me.

Third and fourth stanza, is so sad. filled with such melancholy and you manage to bring such despair and loss of hope in so few words.

"It echos through the night,
And it echos through my heart
In there is a missing piece,
When you left you took that part.

Examining the picturesque stars
Wishing I was the one to die,
Life's not worth living without you,
To be happy would be to live a lie."

^^I just adore these two stanzas. These are the ones that filled my eyes with tears, I find them to be so intense and hard hitting and so many emotionsfired up inside me after reading this part.

"They said, your life was over
That it was your time to go,
But still, I can't understand,
I don't think I will ever know."

^^ This is quite possibly one of the most moving and sad stanzas in the piece...the loss of hope, the despair, the longing, the need for answers that will never come...truly touching, and has such an intense affect on the reader.

The last two stanza's are just beautiful, you both manage to hold so much power throughout the piece and keep it up right until the end. And that ending line...wow. Just amazing, and so sad yet simutaneously so full of love that it's just a beautiful ending filled with elegance and beauty.

The only thing I didn't like in this piece was the constant use of I, I think that's what threw the flow of for me.

Maybe try eliminating some of those and you'll probably find the flow to be so much smoother.

You both did a wonderful job with this piece, and if you decide to collab again I will be ready and waiting.

Yeah, thanks for asking me to do a collab :) I enjoyed writing with you. But i have to agree.. that IS my favorite stanza: all alone no one but me, sitting here unable to see, tears fill my eyes, why did it have to be me... well Joe, Til next time :)

<3