The last 2 lines weren't that strong, and the flow was a little off, in my opinoin. But like liked the subject matter, and alot of the words you chose to you.

I know, i just feel i need to finish it, but now the inspiration left me:) will try tommorow:)

I liked it. although for this line
"Hard to smile back when hatred is what in their eyes you read"
that REALLY threw me off. i think it would sound and look AND flow WAY better as something like this
"Hard to smile back when hatred is what in you see"

just a thought.
5/5

Very good, the beginning was fab but ou went off track. I suggest you try not to change too much in the poem because it ruins the flow and the quality.

Okay so if you said you wanted critisism here it is. You focus to much on rhyming. You need to concentrate on what you want to say and emotion. The rhyming comes later, or unless it comes to you but if your going to rhyme make the words sting and make there eyes follow the page with intensity. nice effort
4/5

This piece indeed needs some changes. For example: in the second stanza, the rhymes seemed forced. In some on the stanza's there's no real logical connection. The ending is a little weak, as you're suddenly talking about someone who haven't been in this poem from the begining. The flow is cut off in some of the places. This poem is alright though, the concept you pick was nice, 4/5

All in all great write. 5/5

Wow the first 3 lines promise a lot. I'm curious to see how it continues...
"To let some fresh air into this world of dust and lies
Where lips smile and laugh, but never do eyes"
I love these lines; they're so true !
Well i'm reading the third stanza now and i'm really impressed. Till now the rhyming and the whole thing has been great!!
Lovin it more n more..
OK. My final opinion about this poem is that it's fantastic. I really like it. To be honest I don't get the last stanza but it's still good. Nicely done :)
5/5
Keep it up
Take care

p.s. this poems in my favs now

Thank you. i see the ending need improvement and i'm thinking how to doit.

Okay i removed the ending. i see it didn't fit the poem at all

I liked it..i thought you ended it nicely... i know exactly what your talking about in this poem..good job.5/5

Heya
i loved this, especially loved the message you are portraying. Althought i kinda felt like it was unfinished? I def think you could add more to this and make it absolutely perfect. One other thing, my favourite verse was this one

I've opened the window and the fresh air comes in
Cool breeze runs slowly down my skin
I wish I could do the same to the world I live in

i was totally drawn in at that point cause thats such an amazing thought and i love it! it really inspired me. but then when u used the word "lame" it put me off a little bit. Maybe find another word for it? the rest of the poem is so beautiful it seems a shame to ruin it.
good job =]
xxxx

The emotion was great but the flow was sort of off... but great job 5/5

I really thought this was a good poem. The only problem I had with it was there was a slang for the word, 'cause' you always want to steer clear of that when you appear to be using eloquent words in your poem. other than that, it was a very joyful read.

Very good, I liked the starting, it really took me in. However the flow was a little off in the middle and the ending could have been better. My favourite verse was the second one, it was well written. Overall a good effort, keep it up.

Although you think the ending is bad i think it is great. it pulls the entire poem to a halt and leaves the reader thinking. i love the rhyme pattern you chose it really is a beautiful poem. i wrote a similar one not too long ago called conformity.

Excellent, If i do say so myself. What and excellent view on what the world is. I truly grew hard of breath reading it. Great work

Well I love the subject the beginning was great.

Wow... amazing and beautifully written poem! .. I love your style of writing here and your word choice is great! I love your use of metaphors and using the wind to create such imagery... you really paint a picture for the reader...

To let some fresh air into this world of dust and lies
Where lips smile and laugh, but never do eyes

Those two lines are my favorite. They are so well written.. I wish it were as simple as just a gust of wind to wipe away all lies and everything false - how great would that be? ..The 2nd line is perfectly written.. where lips smile but never the eyes.. it is so true.. truth is in the eyes..

I need a wind to blow the dust of prejudices away
I need a thunder so they hear me when I say
I need a lightning coz this world is now grey

Brilliant way to end the poem. 3 beautifully written lines with such powerful meaning! your poem makes so much sense!...

Amazing job. keep it up! 5/5 from me!! and thanks for the comment =)

Interesting. I did think that it was good. It's sad that stuff like this does go on and I feel the same 2 a point about wanting 2 fix it. 1 day it will all get better though. But I liked ur poem. It was deep and heartfelt. The only thing that I think that u should work on would be ur flow. It didn't take away from the meaning of the poem but in some parts it was like all over the pace. 5/5