Dont want to lose you

by letmedie2night   Feb 13, 2008


When i look into your eyes
i cant help but notice
your many lies
you promised me alot
but i lost you to
meth and pot
want to help you out
but you wont listen or let me in
my patience is running thin
let me help you
let me bring you back
i hate seeing you run around
out in the world telling
me your doing good and your happy
but thats changed
you said its too late death is your only fate
theres always ways you know
come back to the better days
you come and go
but theres one thing about you
that i know you do want my help
your screaming inside but outside
you pretend and hide

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by CY GINDLE

    I like

  • 16 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    The flow is really awkward.

    When i look into your eyes
    [Capitalize I]
    i cant help but notice
    [Capitalize I and cant should be can't]
    your many lies
    you promised me alot
    [A lot is two words]
    but i lost you to
    [^^Capitalize I]
    meth and pot
    want to help you out
    but you wont listen or let me in
    [^^Wont should be won't]
    my patience is running thin
    let me help you
    let me bring you back
    i hate seeing you run around
    [^^Capitalize I]
    out in the world telling
    me your doing good and your happy
    [^^This was an awkward line, and both your's should be you're]
    but thats changed
    [^^That should be that's]
    you said its too late death is your only fate
    [^^Its should be it's]
    theres always ways you know
    [^^Theres should be there's]
    come back to the better days
    you come and go
    but theres one thing about you
    [^^Theres is there's]
    that i know you do want my help
    [^^Capitalize I]
    your screaming inside but outside
    [^^Your should be you're]
    you pretend and hide

    Sorry for all the grammar correction, but they will make the poem better.

    Keep writing!
    Cayce