by Sierra Rae   Feb 19, 2008

Maybe there's a reason for everything
maybe there was a reason
for why you did what you did
maybe there's an explanation
and now that it matters most
you can't give it

maybe the reason you pushed everyone away
and abandoned all responsibilities
and all of the things you used to do
and all of yourself, and relationships
was because of something so major
so life changing
so horrifying
that you no longer wanted to be yourself

you didn't do anything
it just happened
and you're left helpless

maybe the reason you tried to be someone else
was because you couldn't accept the way things turned out
you couldn't be yourself

maybe the reason you pushed away your life
was because you couldn't deal with what had happened
you couldn't tell anyone
you couldn't face what had happened
so instead of coping
you ran away

from your everything

and maybe now
when the only thing you want is to explain
you can't
because it would hurt someone
and no matter how much you hurt yourself
because you've lost everything
it's worth it to just keep it secret
and not hurt them

your one and only

and no matter how much you wish that you could find a different reason
a different explanation, justification
there is none
so you sit there, wishing you could have them back

forever and ever

but you can't explain, you can't justify it
you can't make things better
because what happened will never change
never go away

you are a different person because of it
and no matter how much you want it all back
your happiness, your love, your innocence
your heart

it's gone forever
and there's nothing you can do

instead of losing one someone that day
you lost two

your one and only,
your everything,
forever and ever

and your future


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