The Real Me ( Suicide )

by FireCracker   May 20, 2004

Every night
i lay in bed awake
and i sit and think
about how my own life i want to take

Everyone at school sees a smile on my face
As i walk through the school hall
but at night when I'm all alone
nothing but tears seem to fall

No one sees
how i really feel
And I'm always acting happy
but that just isn't real

I just don't know how to deal
or what to do anymore
and I'm constantly asking myself
Just what exactly am i living for

I'm always asking myself
does anyone really care
and if anything were to happen
would anyone be there

People hate me
and no one cares for me
and I'm always asking
just how can that be

To everyone i try to be nice
but i cant ever make anything right
and the point to where i take my own life
is becoming more and more tight

But if i were to take my own life
I wouldn't see those i love anymore
and i would just one day leave
and no one would no what for

I feel like a beach
without any sand
but for some people
thats to hard to understand

I haven't told anyone
About how i feel
because they would think i was crazy
and they would think it was a big deal

I thought things would get better
after awhile
i realized they wouldn't
when i began to pretend to smile

I cant go on
living a lie
i want it to be over
i just wanna die

I know things will get better
if i just wait
And i guess for me to live
is just my Fate

And if god wanted me dead
i would have already died
but until its my time
people wont know how i lied

I don't want to tell anyone
about the real me
and i will always hide that
so no one will see

- I wrote this for a friend going through suicide problems -


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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Justine Lopez

    This poem so relates to me
    its a good poem

  • 13 years ago

    by Shelly

    I get what ur writting and i write the same...noone could understand what your going through and its hard...but just stay strong

  • 14 years ago

    by Bleeding_Red_Fallen_Angel

    I love the 9th stanza. The hole poem altogether rocks. Excellent job. I hope you showed your friend this poem it might help her out a little bit. For you to write something like this about her would probably show her just how much you care. Excellent write. >3jess

  • 15 years ago

    by Alle

    I like thi spoem. I've once or twice before felt like this and my friend is always feeling like this. This poem speaks nice truth. Keep going!

  • 15 years ago

    by Elyssa

    I gave it a five out of five! very very good.... suicide sucks... lost my best friend to it! keep your head high!