I used to say it smells like blood
Like a need for an addiction
Too strong to ignore
The cold metal against my skin
And the sharp, tingley pain that followed
It was my heaven, my love, my need
And it used to be the only thing keeping me alive
I would anticipate spending time with the cold blade
Whenever I longed for a taste
It was always there for me
Until it got harder to control
Until the scars wouldn't fade anymore
And I grew sick of the taste
So sick I might puke at one glance
Now I'm weakening more
Nothing in the world could make it alright
I know I'll never be like them
I never wanted to be like them
I'll always be
Not smart enough
Not talented enough
Not pretty enough
And not skinny enough
There's a hunger I just don't wanna fill
Deep in my stomache, and I feel ill
The words: anorexic, never crossed my mind
Cuz I'm just not hungry
All I want is to die
