Oh my I just adore this piece! The words you used were just so beautiful and fit the mood flawlessly. The style in which you choose to write this amazing piece in was just refreshing and joyous to read.

The first line of the beginning stanza was just so captivating and filled with such truth and I was eager and anxious to read more.

"His truth drumming through her ears as she battles the wind with her screams) "
^oh this line was just so amazing and completed the poem for me. The emotions your words entice are just breathtaking.

The last two lines blew me away and left me wanting more. A perfect way to end a wonderful piece. Has to be on of my faves on this site.

Well done *5/5* for sure.

This style is really unique, and I love the way you wrote this. The first line astonished me and I was wanting more by the very end. I love the words you used, not just boring, blah, words, but complex words. I admire this poem and your work a lot. Keep it up!

"I don't know what you're talking about," she beams,
As the mirror of tarnished sketches crumbles beneath tainted time.
Her latest treasure, the novel heart in which her chest now binds,

the picture in my head was grown to be outfitted.. meaning.. it was unbelievable.. amazing write 5/5 loved it =]

First things first, I messaged you about my poem.
Second things second, The poem..Haha.

Title-
I loved it.
It makes me expect a writers masterpiece,
So you best deliver one. :p

Stanza one-
"his face so serious that she snorts at the defiant words,"
I loved this line because it breaks the tension, The beginning is so strong that this line sort of brings it back to reality. Which is good because it creates real emotion.
Suggestion;
"But you're both too stupid to realize it."
[His truth drumming through her ears as she battles the wind with her screams),"
I think moving the full sentence onto a new line helps the flow. Its a long line but it doesn't matter if that then follows onto a new line, You understand? Just to separate each bit.

Stanza two-
Woah, I think your unlike a lot of writers. Your unique. And your poem tends to gain strength after the first stanza.
""I don't know what you're talking about," she beams,
As the mirror of tarnished sketches crumbles beneath tainted time."
I love these lines! Your use of "beams" instead of a word commonly used makes the poem more interesting to read. The alliteration "Tainted time" creates a great flow, flawless.

Ending-
"Observe the mystifying smile that she has painted across her lips,
For you are now witnessing her most notorious work of art."
Dayum girl,I'm in love with this part.
Excellent, Nothing to critic. Your word choice is great, How you place/phrase the words creates a flow.
Its not stiff, Its not emotionless.
Its the opposite.

"A writers masterpiece." - You delivered.
5/5.

Excellent poem

I wasnt really sure where you were going with this one. As you said, it was rough, so it will be good to see the finished product.

Thanks for the advice on my poem.

Greta

I absolutely loved your vocabulary. That was a really strong point in this poem. The overall affect of the poem was great. BUT:

I'm going to try and help as best I can. Your flows a bit off and some sentences don't make sense. But this is just my suggestions. You don't have to do anything. lol :P

Stanza o1:
I think this stanza had the worst flow. but nothing that can't be fixed. :)
Her best friend says, his face so serious that she snorts at the defiant words,
^ this one threw it off a bit
How about:
He speaks so seriously that she snorts at the defiant words,

"Here's the way I see it: You like him, he likes you,
(She walks away from her echoing laughter, gasping)
^this one is kinda confusing.. isn't 'from THEIR echoing' ?
But you're both too stupid to realize it." [His truth drumming through her ears as she battles the wind with her screams)
^ okay this part .. Lets see. You start with [.. then end with) change that. Then in the ( ) you seem to have made a run on sentence. what about:
But you're both too blind to realize the truth."
(His truth starts drumming through her ears
She battles against the wind with her screams)

so it turns out to be:
"Without guile and without game, you cannot obtain love."
He speaks so seriously that she snorts at the defiant words,
"Here's the way I see it: You like him, he likes you,
(She walks away from their echoing laughter, gasping)
But you're both too blind to realize the truth."
(His truth starts drumming through her ears
She battles against the wind with her screams)

Well its not perfect but its a start

Stanza o2:
This one was flawless I really like it. My favorite line was:
A complimentary masterpiece in which she helped devise:
This one was so strong it really pulled the poem all together.

Stanza o3:
Those last two lines were AMAZING. They ended the poem perfectly.

In the beginning you seemed really weak and sloppy, but as the poem moved on through, it was an excellent poem.

Well I hoped I helped.

Great Job

5/5

Erm, wow. I did like this [I diiiiiiid] but you're right it is a bit rough. The title is amazing. :]

"Without guile and without game, you cannot obtain love."

^^ I loved this line. I agree with it to an extent, and it was a really great opening line.

Her best friend says, his face so serious that she snorts at the defiant words,

^^ Eh, you stumble a bit here. I don't like how it starts off with "Her best friend says.." I like the other part of the line though. I can picture this girl laughing at this guy as he says it. I would probably do the same thing if a guy said it to me. >.>

"Here's the way I see it: You like him, he likes you,

^^ I don't know, this line seems kind of dull.. I think you could spice it up a bit. [Do you get what I'm saying?]

(She walks away from her echoing laughter, gasping)

^^ I like this line, the imagrey is really good and you can picture the girl again. I like how you put it in parenthesis, it helps the reader know what's going on, and they don't get confused.

But you're both too stupid to realize it." [His truth drumming through her ears as she battles the wind with her screams

^^ Wow. o.o instense. I really liked it.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she beams,
As the mirror of tarnished sketches crumbles beneath tainted time.

^^ She's lying to herself here. I'm not really sure why, but I've never liked quotation marks in poems. I'm starting to warm up to them in this poem, though.

Her latest treasure, the novel heart in which her chest now binds,
(Polished, once it was forged with the utmost precision)
A complimentary masterpiece in which she helped devise:

^^ This is the best part of the poem in my opinion. It was just so cleverly written, and you poured your heart out into it. Sometimes, venting makes to most beautiful masterpieces [ha, I used your word.].

Observe the mystifying smile that she has painted across her lips,
For you are now witnessing her most notorious work of art.

^^ I really like the idea of these two lines, but I think you could have worded them better. Maybe it's just me [it propbably is]. I think if you like it how it is, then don't change it, just ignore me. :]

Great job, sweetie! It really was great.

Keep writing!
Cayce

P.S. Sorry it took so long, I didn't realize somoen else had taken my dead. >.< Forgive me?

I thought this was a pretty good poem, at times I was a little lost, but overall it was good. The flow was a little weird, but it set the whole poem off. Your vocabulary was good, but it seemed at parts you tried to hard to use bigger words.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she beams,
As the mirror of tarnished sketches crumbles beneath tainted time.
Her latest treasure, the novel heart in which her chest now binds"

This was my favorite part ^^

But i had to reread it a few times

overall a great poem
a well deserved 5/5

Haha, i love poems that make you have to read it like 3-4 times ( for me anyways ) to kinda get the true meaning of the poem and thats what this did... I loved it.. very well written and creative.... The first line you wrote was my fav!!

This poem is really awesome. The style is really different from anything I've read lately. But I love it.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she beams,
As the mirror of tarnished sketches crumbles beneath tainted time.
Her latest treasure, the novel heart in which her chest now binds

This is my favorite part of the whole thing. It just flows so well and the wording is simply amazing. Great job. 5/5

I can relate to your last comment explaining the poem. I have been writing a lot of poems for the same reason. I have a deep appreciation for free verse and I think you did well making the poem flow without a rhyme scheme

"(Polished, once it was forged with the utmost precision)
A complimentary masterpiece in which she helped devise: "

This is my favorite lines. They lead to the lines that blend well with the title

I felt much emotion in this novel like poem

5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I liked it
like you said the thoughts were a bit scattered
but the poem was really i dont know cool in it's own way
I would fix one thing
like when you said all the thoughts were in your mind
write them down then about an hour or so after
go back and fix or re-write the poem
it helps trust me
5/5

""Without guile and without game, you cannot obtain love." "

^^ I love this, this is a beautiful opening, something that really draws the reader in and instantly has me hooked and wanting to continue with the rest of the piece.

I found this opening line to be very strong and hold alot of depth and power in few words.

""Here's the way I see it: You like him, he likes you,
(She walks away from her echoing laughter, gasping)"

^^ This is beautiful, this brought out many conflicting emotions for me, and I love the use of gasping here, it makes it seem all the more real and adds strength to these two lines.

"As the mirror of tarnished sketches crumbles beneath tainted time.
Her latest treasure, the novel heart in which her chest now binds,"

^^ Easily my favourite part of the piece, these lines are stunning, so much depth, so much melancholy yet simutaneously beautifully written and filled with elegance while the imagery in these lines is beautiful, creates very vivid pictures in my mind.

"Observe the mystifying smile that she has painted across her lips,
For you are now witnessing her most notorious work of art."

^^ I'm not to sure on this for the ending...it's beautifully written, yes. But at the same time I feel that it is slightly weaker than the rest of the poem, which is strong throughout, and I can't help but feel it lets the poem down slightly.

However that being said, I love this piece, I found it to be very well written and moving, and an enjoyable read.