The little girl that always cried

I'm just a little girl
I just turned eight last week
I don't think i deserve this
I hardly ever speak

I have blonde hair and bright blue eyes
And a smile made to shine
I remind daddy of his mommy
He reminds me all the time.

But even though its not my fault
He blames me every day
He told me that she used to beat him
So now i have to pay

I lay up in my room all day,
The night is what i fear.
"What will daddy do tonight
After drinking all his beer?"

The sun goes down, my dad comes home
And that is when it starts
He drinks Carona and hits my mom
It breaks my mommy's heart

And so she goes into her room
At night i hear her cry
I hear her praying every night
That god please let her die.

I sit and watch the sun go down
As he waits until it's dark
Thats when he storms into the room
And tears everything apart.

He starts to yell and scream at me
As I'm trembling in fear
He's starting to yell louder now
I know that people hear.

I'm sitting in the corner
Tears streaming down my cheeks
The beatings have been going on
For more than a few weeks

He just hit me really hard
It made it hard to breath
But as i try to catch my breath
He keeps on beating me

The bruises from the night before
Still have yet to heal
And the pain of my bones breaking
Is all i seem to feel.

And i know my mommy hears me cry
When he hits me with his belt
I'm screaming "Mom, please help me!"
But she never tries to help.

Finally he hits me hard
So hard I hit the floor.
While taking all my clothes off
I'm yelling "Please, no more."

Then he gets on top of me
And takes my innocence away
I can't stop thinking of the pain
He causes me each day

My screams keep getting louder
I know my neighbors hear me cry.
But they just turn off their lights
And when asked about they lie.

He finally gets off of me
I say "Daddy tell me why.
Did i really deserve this?
Do u like to make me cry?"

So he leaves me lying on the floor
Hurt and forever scarred.
Bleeding, cold and wondering
"Why must life be so hard?"

Then he comes back and kicks me
And tells me to get up
As i yell in agony
He tells me to shut up

He hits me with whatever
Is closest to his arm
It breaks my skin, I start to bleed
Just to leave another scar

I'm still crying for my mommy now
My dad just went to bed
And so i go to search for her
Just to find out that she's dead

She took a blade and slit her wrist
And left me all alone
Still living to be tortured
To survive here on my own

"I cant live without u mommy
I need you to survive
I feel like i am dying now
Cuz your no longer alive."

But she left a letter
Like none I've ever read
It said its to her little girl,
And this is what it said:

"I love you more than life itself
Your my little girl.
I'm sorry I couldn't save you
From this cruel and horrible world."

"And everywhere you go just know
That I'll alwayz be there
As the glowing smile on your face
And sunshine in your hair."

The thought of being all alone
Made tears pour down my cheeks
Emptiness fulfills my soul
I'm shocked and i cant speak

I guess my cries had got too loud
Cuz my daddy heard my voice
He came back and grabbed my arms
I had no other choice.

He starts to hit me once again
I'm still bleeding from before
I can hear my own bones breaking
As I'm falling to the floor

I thought by now he'd stop
I wish that I was right
His anger got so bad that
He murdered me last night.