P-A-I-N

by Love vs Fate   Apr 2, 2008


This is how I look at pain.
It's not really with a bunch of rhyme but more free verse.

P-Pressure cause by society.
We try things just to fit in.

A-Anger flowing through our bodies. Oh man
what is going to happen to the world?

I-Insecurity takes over a young boys life.
He feels so alone so he takes his own life.
I wonder why he did it, I don't know what to do.

N-Nobody in this world understands. These
People are in a different world. A world out of control.
They feel so alone. Their just a loner in this crazy world.
They usually have no friend, nothing but fear.

Those who have read this poem just now, If you got an image in your head after or while reading my poem. Did you think about what I said? Did you see my message I'm trying to send out to all you viewers? If you disagree with my statement in my poem. Please feel free to rate it by what you thought, But also leave a comment explaining why rated it good or bad. Thank you.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden

    Edit:
    You mean pressure CAUSED by society. :)
    You mean boy's. Apostrophe s shows ownership. Since it is HIS life, he owns it.
    Under N, for the second line, you capitalized people, but you didn't start a new sentence so, lower case that. Also in the N, you're using the wrong they're. It's they're.

    Response:
    I thought it was pretty cool. Since there weren't any rhymes it was easy to grade, consistency wise. I'm starting to see a trend in some of your recent poems. :) Acrostic. Nice. They're so diverse.

    Rating:
    I thought it was a good poem. I'd give it a four. There wasn't anything wrong with it, it just wasn't the best poem ever and all that jazz. It was good though. High fives* :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Amber

    Really God, It shows they type of thinkgs teens go through daily or their emotiond they may have daily

  • 16 years ago

    by Sammerz

    This poem is sooo true loved it
    5/5
    Fantastic Job!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Good job hun, like your style xxx

  • 16 years ago

    by michelle

    This is good because it reflects what every teenager goes through, the insecurity the pain the confusion, the pressure to fit in.
    Really good!

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