Realize

Amazing writing keep it up!! <3

I realize nobody cares about me :( 5/5

A Very inspiring and moving piece ..Although there were few spelling errors, it dint affect at all the message and idea that you were trying to portray..Excellent job..

It would have been easier to focus on if you would've broken it down into stanzas beut, other then that,it was really good.I love poems that leave questions like that at the end.It leaves you thinking.

---amber---

One moment you live your life not thinking about the bad
All you see is good except for the times you may be sad
`AH ! Again with the rhyming. Word choice -- work on your diction. The concepts you work with are brilliant -- it's just the diction that takes away from what you're attempting to speak and get through in your work. In a piece like this that contains longer lines, ending with simple words makes me twitch.

But have you ever thought that somthing bad could ever happen
Theres a time in your life to be for real and to be laughin
`Something**typo. The second line, the one that ends with laughin (which, by the way, sounds like a funny choice of rhyme to me) made question marks pop out of my head. I think I get it, and yet at the same time, I don't. My poetry isn't the only one that's a bit complicated to understand, it seems ;)

You never no when somthing or the time that it will be to go
So instead of giving god the glory then, you should always let it show
`know**instead of no. ++ something**

He has a speacil time for you and when it comes it that time
So you should ALWAYS let your love for god shine
`special** and did you mean "and when that time comes" or something along those lines? I think you have an extra word in there, but which one to take out or rearrange all depends on what you were attempting to say.

He dosent say hey its time to go, or its time for you to fail
He cant even send us text's messages or an e-mail
`doesn't** text**

Overall, the flow was good, but not great. Word choice ... a lot of repitition. It made me go, Eh. The ending though, leaves the reader when a question in hand -- a deep one at that. Very strong message flowing through simple words. Work on it... Re-read, and do a few edits. And I know this piece can be more.

Keep at it, love!
--..MiNDYY