Chains

I'm not sure I want to get better
Put an end to all these tears
I don' think I want to move on
Throw away the entire year

I don't want to lose anything more
Don't want the scraps to disappear
My hope feels foolish
Living almost becomes a fear

They say if you love some thing
You'll let it be free
This notion is confusing
And it tortures me

I want my friend to be happy
But it seems it's them I need
I want my friend to be happy
That means they must be freed

As they fall away from me
I want to reach out and grab
As they fall away from me
I sit with a trembling hand

I don't know what to do
If I should help them off their chains
I'm afraid I'll only tighten them
Squeeze and squish their bruised remains

No one deserves to be a slave
To bonds that are already too weak
No one deserves to be hurt
By the love I desperately seek

As they're let free by my love
Broken, I don't know what I want
All the guilt stays inside
Unmoved it stays to haunt

Broken, bonds sit so sore
And I know it's simply my fault
As I mourn all that's lost
I don't know what I want

Life is some thing to fear
When torture is what one deserves
This misery might be self-induced
For it has already been earned

I never want to stop caring
I want my love to stay
I hold memories close by
Yet I want to run away

I don't want my love to end
But I question my own life
This situation seems hopeless
My trapped mind turns over in strife